Past Logging

Past Logging II

Been trying to get to this entry for several days now, but the adventure of life has been rolling right along.  Shall we call it the Redding Mobbers Premiere Report?  Shall we call it the new eyes explanation?  Shall we call it legs still recovering and mind lagging behind?  No matter what we call it the trip last weekend to Redding area was incredible.  Incredible company, incredible hospitality, unparalleled riding, a successful screening, and well...

2:30am Saturday Morning:  After spending all evening packing, organizing merchandise, burning last minute DVD's, confirming directions, etc.  I went to sleep.

5:00am Saturday Morning:  Woke up to throw last bikes on car, wake brother up, and get ourselves out of dodge.  Gassed up and were east bound on 299 by six oclock.

8:30am Saturday Morning:  Arrive at Whiskeytown recreation area and chill our for about half an hour before preparing for xc ride with Redding Mountain bike club.  By nine the club began to roll in and they kept coming till somewhere between 30-40 riders (apparently a small group) were prepared to head out.  We rode for a little over ten miles on some very technical, steep, and rocky trails.  the group slowly divided up as riders chose different directions and difficulties.  Overall the group was super cool, very supportive, and stoked to show us around their neighborhood.  met some great folks, sold a few DVD's and had a ball.

1:00pm Saturday Afternoon:  By the end of the ride we were feeling our lack of sleep and just wanted to kick it.  We rolled to our temporary homestead with Sandy Ross and got cleaned up, fed, etc.  Pretty much bummed around all afternoon, worked on the bikes a bit, tested the video projector ad just ejoyed the beautiful day.

5:30pm Saturday Evening:  Depart Sandy's for Ultimate Pizza CO.  We totally ransacked the placem rearranged, hung our posters and screen and set down some temporary roots.  Sandy came through huge with a projector and DVD player, couldn't have done it without her.  The place was flooded with light till 7:30 so pushed back the feature a little bit, but folks began showig up late ayway so it was perfect.  Ran the reel, raffled some schwag (BIG UP AZONIC RACING)  stoked the populous out.  had a couple pitchers in me, feeling great, shooting the shit.  Good folks good times.  Thanks Jim ad the Ultimate Pizza Crew, Big Up Big Up.

12:00am Sunday Morning: Passed out havig called off the night ride, feeling wiped.  Looking forward to six oclock wake up to go downhilling.

6:53am Sunday Morning:  wake up and check cell phone, tells me it is 5:53am, stoked, check messages, taking my time waking up, but wondering why it is so light outside... phone then resets to 6:53!  Then back.  Damn satelites.  So we bounce in a crazy hurry already half an hour late.  Of course we met the crew just fine, no hard feelings that i know of.

8:00am Approaching top of South fork mountain DH run.  Big Up Todd Hoeft, Nor Cal God, and father of the best Pirate trail I have ever ridden.  First run i stack like a patsy in the top rock garde chasing todd and L.G. down.  Only feel at like 2 miles an hour but all rocks there are razors so got a little bloodied.  Hike back up and clean my way back to the group.  To put the trail into perspective, the top 1/3 mile drops 800 feet in elevation, bad ass.  Then the bottom becomes wide open chunderous double track, a natural creek rock section with flowing water, and more incredible corners then anyone should ever get to ride in one day.  After run one the Chain Gang drew, Erick Weidenkeller Jeremiah Collins and L.G. cut out for 10:00am work, Joel and I do another run, and then another.  Pinned top to bottom the trail is somewhere around ten minutes it seemed.  But the abuse, fun, and challenge is equivalent to a solid hour anywhere else.

12:00pm Sunday Afternoon: after three runs down the south fork Sandy, Joel and eye decide to go shuttle the Ice Box DH at whiskey town lake before heading back to the house.  More sick unseen trail, ripping rock sections, etc.  Permasmile.

2:00pm Sunday Afternoon:  Back at Sandy's packing up the rig to depart, thanks yous and all that Jazz.

3:00pm Sunday Afternoon:  At the Chain Gang Bike shop meeting up with Jeremiah and L.G. to roll to the "Rider Ranch", Jeremiah's pad.  Once there we explore the possibilities of his sick and fresh pumptrack, be daunted by his phat back yard cliff drop, scope his trials course and short track trails, bang his drums a bit, have some matte, and get way stoked out.  The session was solid, Erick W. showed up and Joe ? was there.  Lots pf progression, helped motivate some first attempts on the track which is always fun, good company riding was elevated.

6:00pm Sunday Evening:  Jeremiah and L.G. lead us to the Redding Jump trail.  The legend was revealed, have heard of it for years, was prepared to be blown away and unable to ride it, but was unprepared for what I actually encountered.  Met Chad Mitchell, Jason Marciano, and Chasin ? there along with several other rippers and had my mind blown to smitherens.  Some pictures are coming but they will do the show no justice I am sure.  I saw things i never thought achievable outside of an x games arena.  Not to put anything on anyone but, the R.J.T. is what is happening, everything else is tiddly winks...  Don't even know how much i should say or describe becuase then you will get images and think you know what i am talking about, but you won't.  The amount of work, the size, the amplitude, and the skill of the kids there is insane.  All riding hardtails, all throwing it huge, and all humble and welcoming u and anyone to ride their trails.  Amazed.  I'll just say I saw Mitchell send his hardail about 35 feet and almost three stories overhead, it blew my mind...  The wind was picking up on the top so we dropped onto the downhill jump run and sessioned a sick section.  Took me numerous bitch runs to get it down but when I did my adrenaline was pegged like it hasn't been for days.  On the verge of exhaustion and completely stoked out I experienced more hang time in a forty minute session then I have in a long time anywhere else.  "Centipede" to ? to "Java" to "Party Popper".  Things are just a little different there, the bar is a little higher, the kids all come up in a more intense atmosphere and so they build a little bit more intense stuff, the intensity gets stacked and, blamo, you have the RJT phenomenon (Big Up Cecil Johns).  The lips are a little steeper, the gaps a little bigger, the landings a little more sniper, the bikes a little sketchier, and the skills a little more refined.  The dirt is loose, even when they say it is tacky, and fosters bike control like nothing else.  They name every hit and everyone agress on it, each hit does indeed have a personality, as do the trails, steeped in history, blood and sweat.  I was possesed by something there, I will be back soon, and I will definitely never dig the same again.

8:30pm Sunday Evening:  The session finally wound down at dusk and we had split with the rippers.  Rode the trail back out and loaded up L.G. to give him a ride home.  36 hours after our arrival we were headed west to resume the coastal attack.  It took an hour for me to come down from the adrenaline of our JT session, and when I did I was done, toast, kaput, but so stoked that I couldn't really shut the mind down. 

12:00am Monday Morning:  Home safe and sound and committed to step things up in the Hum CO ,inspired by the loose lucidity of the Redding Militia.

Now I have been on our own RJT every evening for the past three days, throwing dirt, whips, tables and turn bars.  When i arrived at the jumps they were no longer interesting, pinner is the word.  So it must continue.  Again not to put anything on anyone, but i sense much more complacency here in hum co then other places, more contentment, less openmindedness, a little more ego and assumption that our shit is on par.  Sorry to break the news but we have a lot of catching up to do.  So next time you step ou to ride just remember there is always a grom somewhere throwing it high, harder, faster, and better so keep pushing and keep it loose.

P.s. Look for pictures of some of the trip highlights in the Spring Ridefiles Coming Soon.

03.27.07
ok so here it comes again, the graves rant, diatribe, monolgue, cope out copulation.  call it what you may, but i just have to put some things out into the air cause it gets crowded in my head.  so this weekend was killer the collective energy had me stoked and ready to pour more into pirate than I have all season.  it was good times.  the course was sweet, high speed and rough like I haven't seen for sometime, was flashing back on a course at the shasta damn which claimed my right hip back in 2001.  in the final had a moment where i looked over the edge, bucked from one water bar into another and saw doom sitting before me as a log which my face wanted to endo into.  but six years later i have found the where withall to resist such temptaion and managed to turn down the request.  anyway felt like i had decent runs, wasn't upset with any of it.  but now looking back i can identify my shortcomings which led to getting the spank laid on my puss tush.  first off it was the first ride this season in which i felt like my fresh commitment to flats hurt me.  all the other rides have been steep enough, tech enough, and sloppy enough that it was fine. but i was dogging the pedals relative to others i am sure and was feeling the disadvantage of my new 170 cranks versus the slightly longer 175 i have been running.  I thinks over all they will be better, but not this weekend.  next tried to apply the care free pin method, not stopping once on course all day i figured i would just wing it.  but lines were changing not to mention all the work the delongs and wilson had done.  I think i handed over a fair bit not hitting the new lines and hops everyone was talking about.  especially the hops, even the "log pre jump" i skipped, underestimating my fitness thinking it was better to conserve.  talking with Ryan he had found ways to hop nearly every hole on course which was momentum i should not have sacrificed.  then too it seemed Ryan and Mr.T had the ideal bikes for the course, just enough front end to hold through the chunder, light enough to accelerate quicker and efficient enough in tghe rear to rail on the gas.  not to take anything away from Mr. T, he pulled one off, pretty impressive.  All i can figure is his moto abilities kept him competitive in the free ways, and his rig had him ahead on the flats.  Amazed, he is the king.  I think had the course been a little more tech and gnar in places we would have seen things sort out differently, and would have seen times spread out a bit, but it was what it was.  Weidenkeller of Redding again impressed, having never seen the course till the day of and finishing right in the mix.  I was stoked to be able to beat him after his spanking performance at ride one, but also just stoked to ride with him and get to train him in practice, rides like he is on rails.  Ryan is just Ryan, right bike, light tires, killer skills.  What can a boy say except I am glad he is around and showing us girls how to ride.  For my part after my water bar black out I was coolin it down, touching brake way too much and just being overly cautious, so it goes, so we learn.  gotta stop and inspect and session.  Ryan did and he took it to us all.  Should be a good season.  The crew is super tight and that should keep things interesting.  Was stoked to see my brother step it up too, tying robbie and beating a lot of older bigger guys.  I have been forcing him to pedal and hit shit and it is starting to show.  i don't think anybody realizes how crappy his bike is right now either.  a toune up and getting it down below 47 pounds or whatever the tanks weighs would have had him in the top five I think.  but did what I wanted, had a descent showing while being way laid back.  so that is good, now just gotta figure out if i am going to stick with the flats all summer or not.

03.17.07
time keeps on slipping in to the future.  new trails are born, new lines delivered, etc.  Bikes shred and explode, blew a deraileur night before last for no apparent reason, feeling buried in bike maintenance and necessary upgrades.  basically broke as a joke, but the bikes will fly.  other wise pretty distracted in everything right now.  trying to assert energy toward the TUC vid and apply myself equally or greater in a pile of other pursuits.  still this pales in comparison to the sacrifices made by many i know.  still feeling overwhelmed, but know that resolution comes with time.
now other topics, couple photos here from the bmx track, nothing special, a ride files preview if you will.  rider is eddie the machete.  p.s. this is over the tracks triple, few are even man enough to air this out, let alone trick it.


03.15.07
one month to sea otter dh finals.  the season starts and ends.  life is in serious flux.  got to lay it all out to decide whether or not to chop it all up.  hope to be racing loads this summer in and around the west side.  we'll see.

03.06.07
I cut my hair tonight.  I almost cut it all off.

02.28.07
disregard previous message, event was uncancelled.  we're squeezing at least one more in, stay tuned.  right now have twenty four hours to poilish my films for festival submission.  tight ship we run, or do we sink?  we see,  all i know is the rats are already bailing.

02.23.07
Straight report from Amos Pole, 8:
02.19.07
well the last entry didn't exactly pan out.  life has been quite translated, rather mystical i might say.  moments traveling at the speed of thought where time is insignificant, and others where black hole gravity bends the waves of time by at an unbelievable pace.  now striving to make things happen with the TUC video, crazy legit it craves to be.  envoices and play bills and blah blah blahs oh my.  sitting in the muddy waters formerly known as right now where was working and a womens open mic solidified around me.  mmm hmmm.  and here i sit logging, what, riding till i drop.  yesterday and today pushed the dh rig up down and out of the kneeland trail.  followed each with a sprinkling of the slippery jump trail, RJT that is.  Somewhere in the middle appeared a hell huck with sean t.  mi o mi.  recovery, rest, coffee rips

02.17.07
back in it as they say... or is it just me that says that...

02.03.07
the shakes are back tonight, but these are different.  sick sick sick.  crashed after ryan d and i busted ass on the new course thursday.  now i am bummin and bidding my time as i work through the weekend and pray health returns in a timely manner.  so much to do, but that was part of the problem.  overrode, weather cold, resistance low. 
on a side note where is sean t? i miss him.

01.30.07
I've got the shakes, I had one taste, now all I can think about is getting another bump.  Do you know those moments when your dream world intercepts the waking one, when you are suddenly given the touch, the high, the fix that had been haunting your conscious and unconcsious imagination?  Do you know the sensation outside of time, where the goals and notions you once possesed are suddenly dimensions away?  Such feelings brought on by the most powerful substance on the planet, the keystone of life, the womb of desire.  I have tried to resist, tried to deny my innate thirst, yet i must accept that departures always bring about new destinations.  With these new vibrant horizons come fresh inspiration and a driving energy born of nothing more than the electricty which sits heavy in the air around us.  This energy has settled into my core and I feel springs of new emotion and thought flowing forth into every action.  There are no regrets upon seeing the true figures outside the cave rather than merely their ghostly shadows dancing upon the walls around.  New colors, new possibilities, and a rare look upon myself inspiring new levels of selflessness.  Can the jones be squelched, can the shivers be stiffled?  Perhaps, yet realization is a one way street and we must walk it bravely hand in hand with providence.  I'd say that the world has been inverted, yet how can I be sure that it was not I who was always standing on my head.  A round world born of a flat imagination, doors flung open as my ship plummeted off the edge.  And now I again tumble into the purest creation under heaven, thankful that time has not closed my mind to the incredible wonder of woman.

01.24.07
sleeping again, oh that's nice.  gotta get back on the training wago, shifting focus from the mob to actually mobbing again myself, plus the era of the tour is upon us, the tour of the unknown coast video.  so if you are wondering where the logs head is at.  now you have it.

01.21.07
just realized it isn't april...
04.21.07
in the moment there are infinite possibilities for the future, but we always settle into one.  There were many ways I could have gotten down to this film beig done, but there was one way that it has come to coming about.  And this is it.  36 hours from show time and I am less than half way through transcoding my final disc.  many things i could be trying to do now, but what i am doing is staying awake until it is ready to hit the button one more time and then look for some winks.  this here loggage is being typed on my recently returned nascar laptop.  so far so shady as the "n" key is working intermitantly, we'll see if she holds.  but till then, if 50 million operations a minute (or what ever count i had before) wasn't enough, no double it, too screens at once.  now that is productivity, only i really am beginning to notice a decline in my vision.  pray for my eyes, my laptop, my lungs, my legs, your loved ones, and th future of the GP, that is all.

04.17.07

once again one day later than i thought it was, which leads me to question if it was what i thought it later.  i think it wasn't.  back at the desk approaching wee hours hoping i can get some work done on the timeline tonight.  posters hit the streets today, pick up your handbill at any Eureka Arcata bike shop.  definite progress has been made in the last week.  it is all very close now, still it isn't for most, but i think those it is for know it and will appreciate the time that is in it, as the recent Journal article illustrated, most just don't get it.  Hope the film can at least bring them a little closer.  So everybody come and bring an unanitiated friend, yes do it.

04.14.07
Just heard a radio add on the way home i though applied to all us pirates and i thought i would share, hoping it might make an impact.  tomorrow IS martin Luther King Jr. day and we should all be thinking about civil service, help with something this county really needs... more downhill trails.
Well on its way in Hoopa is the branchild of Rob Rhall Jr. and Justin Graves.  Was looking at the dates here and couldn't figure out where the last two days went, that's cause I was away from the computer and on the trail sculpting.  Thanks to the genrosity of Hoopa's Pirates Pat Jackson, and Brothers Amos and Nate Poll next month is going to hold another fabulous and free DH ride.  Wanted to come up with something fresh and challenging.  After riding a very leafy and treacherous Slippery eel a couple weeks ago Rob and I thought the trail needed to be revived and given a new look.  So the last two days and tomorrow have been spent raking and re aligning the Big Hill classic.  The more hands the better so hit me up, today was out with Joel and Nic Lumas and things just get better.  The final date isn't set, likely second or third week of February.  Really want to pimp the trail out for this one.  widening her way out and giving many subtle and not so subtle options, where there were none before.  Should be good.

01.12.07
that's right gravity pirates on the cover of the northcoast journal.  just when i thought i was out, i am in as deep as it goes...  the controversy has already begun.  i say any dialogue on bikes and their access, or lack there of, is a great thing.  but am i man enough and mature enough to be beaurocratic about it all??


01.10.07

the first four digits of this date are a palindrome! well lord knows where the head is at, fifty some frame captures from where i started, wanting to write this journal, decided it was only proper to do that first.  4 am on the night i said i'd turn in to store energy if the bmx track is open tomorrow, er i mean today.  but pressed right on working and here we are,  it has come time for me to ask you to hope in my time machine with me and go back... wait just a moment now... i just have to... wait for it... hold as long as i can... ahhhhhhh that's better.  where was i, uh oh yeah we're hoppin in the time jobber.  that button there, yep.
so saturday, sohum shootout.  wake up and it's wet, knew it would be, its ok.  no really now nobody cares about any of that, they want me to just skip to the good part.  so its the championship of our eight feler bracket, the first heat even remotely resembling the energy of a real race.  You see the day was pretty relaxed, only a handful of riders and nobody who was particularly throwin it.  abubububub shoot mind blank, fart, spasm, ahhh.  can't remember where i was going with that, suffice to say I wasn't feeling too much pressure.  So it was in the final round against my brother.  The young man was puttin it on himself before the heat, off in the corner getting his psyche on (same thing i used to do against sean t and matt) except he really seems to be able to harness it sometimes.  He had qualified just one second behind me (they didn't count splits) and honestly he had a great run.  I never ride those qualies at stars to hard when i feel confident with the head to head matches and my gate starts, so i felt I still had a pretty good cushion.  We loaded up in the start gate he was quiet, I was talking and shaking his hand and such, I was pretty resolved to ride well and let whay happened happen.  For the first time that day I really saw the gate, i was up and stable and looking wide at Matt's arm as he set to pull.  Was snap was the best all day, too good in fact as my rear tire spun out on the wet wooden starting ramp.  This gave the boy a half wheel length on me as I reset.  Again pretty confident with my pedal power and put the cranks in I needed to pull even with him and hold my line through the whoops.  Once we were abreast I began to slide to my right, trying to keep him out of the corners decisive inside position.  Up to speed we were in perfect rythm through the first straight.  All I could hear was the single sound of our tires airborne and landing together.  As we dropped into the first corner I pushed hard on the inside and swooped high forcing him behind.  Instinctually I tapped my front brake in the apex of the corner... OH YEAH THE Fin BRAKE! ok quick aside, so all day long I was completely without a rear brake.  Flipping the bike for a cleaning the night before had freed some criminal bubble in my brake and it was done, one hundred percent.  Needless to say this posed some difficulties with decelerating from high speed in the mud.  So I had brake points carefully picked (two), if they were needed with the mud resistance the track was possible brakeless.... so I tapped that old front rotor and Joel boy scrubs the rubber on my rear tire hard enough that Matt could hear it from the gate.  With no where to dodge Joel reacted by shutting it down ever so slightly, but too late to hold speed for the second straight's first double.  He cased, and I rode away.  To his credit the lad was riding the track very well and his speed in some sections was contest to mine.  Though inconsistent I knew to be sure I would have to play tactics, yes as my mentor Sean T was said at the same event, "Age and treachery versus youth and enthusiasm."
so to conclude, watch out world if joel t g starts training.

01.08.07

Should Series Points Be Tabulated This Season???  Yes  No Results

it is 4:14am and i am cooking up little quizzes.  yes, that is productivity.  have put myself in the crunch and now here i am, head in the vice of time.  glance at the clock and it is two days later than i thought.  making good progress tonight though on the final edit.  i like the chinese dh section, and i think you, the discerning pirate, will like it too.  if you don't find me and tell me why, don't talk behind my back like a you know what...  that isn't directed at anyone it was a joke, seriously. 

01.05.07
Well ride 2 is upon us, kind of a disjointed thing this year, super casual, but that is good.  My bike is clean and ready to go, weather looks to be swinging either way, should be interesting.  Pretty much prepared to be soaked and getting blown off my bike, any thing mellower than that will be gravy.  Looking forward to pumpin up event coverage here, with a descent writeup, pics, and video clips.  Hopefully that should all be coming together.

01.04.07
Happy new year to you all, didn't think we would live to see this many days, can't imagine we will see more, but it seems to be the trend.  Gotta watch out for being trendy though, it can land you in a grave.  Well the last month has been absolutely crazy, crazy fun, but also crazy off task.  very difficult now to get back to the grind.  With the next premiere only 18 days away i am under the gun in a big way and still social obligations are callnig me away, just too many good friends around here during this time of year.    Just got back from San Francisco on tuesday, was a nice escape to the city for a few. (aside... North Coast Journal just called wanting a cache of high res photos for next weeks issue, talk about piling it on, sweatshirt and hat designs are in, press releases have to follow, and editing needs to move big time)  Anyway The City was fun, except all the celebrating took its toll and i finally went down sick on the way down there.  So not a drop of alcohol passed my lips the whole time, didn't get crazy as I had hoped, but debauchery will always be there. 
Here is me sick
So now just trying to get back on track and hoping I can offer some shred up this saturday at Star's, not as sharp as I had hoped but so it goes when you are a homless unemployed drifter.  Got to come to terms with my life this year, but having a hard time.  Wrapping up the thirty hour fast today which had me feeling mucgh better, flushing out the system with some detox and grapefruit juice, feeling much better, and hoping I can find the power come this weekend.

12.26.06
the paradox of existence.  someone somewhere once figured out that cancers have this thing about polarity, extremes of belief, action, and interest stretching to both ends of the spectrum.  most days i see this clearly, try to embrace it, and try not to implode.  today i am overwhelmed with my disgust of technology, spent a lot of money on a laptop, half of me hates it, and half of me needs it.  it isn't working right now and i am cursing my laid back life and empty pockets.  of course i had to buy the cheapest lap top on the planet and of course i am not surprised when it works like crap.  want to cleanse my life of these things, but also want to create and astound with what this crud enables one to create .  so once again i am in an argument with myself, impatient, poor, and unable to orchestrate my own solutions due to lack of scrill and income.  so how do i make it work, a life of contradiction and revolt that is.  anyone have any ideas let me know.

12.25.06
"there's blood in my mouth cause i've been biting my tongue all week"
um, not to offend any but i am glad christmas is over, still got the holiday hump but pretty much going to have to ignore it from here on out.  once again it looks like i have graciously dug myself into another hole, and now it hits me that the work load in the next two weeks is going to be pretty stiff leading up to the January 22nd show.  guess that is how jobs go, you put them off until it is a necessity, but just before it is too late.  so it goes, wondering if i should shave and cut...

12.22.06
the clock is ticking down, now a little more than an hour before i go back to revolution in a working capacity.  filling in some holiday shifts to lighten the load a bit, retracing the route to the little hill top shop that I have traced so many times before.  Years ago on a little DH wanabe bike laiden with gear to go chase the crew downhill, to take my first maintenance courses, and to live cycling more than I ever imagined.  Good things, I am excited, stepping back in everything is lighter and sweeter and fresher.

12.21.06
guess who joined the babylon revolution.  that's right, you guessed it, I bought a laptop.  Thought I must admit the novelty of typing this in a coffee shop is quite stimulating.  At any rate I think this means the style and frequency of updates will be evolving, as I go forth into the world to share it's bits and pieces with the Pirates each step of the way.  Hope this will afford me more inspiration to write, and at least the ability to capture moments and thoughts as they arise.  Of course technical issues have already arisen, so we will see how the walls of Babylon burn.
oh and happy soltice, winter begins and the sun begins to return.

12.16.06
uh, misrepresented my capabilities this morning, wanted to get up and go for a shuttle at 7:30, but the Ancient Age and Jaeger kept me up till 6:00.  Really thought I could do it, humbled again.

12.12.06
the rain is abating, my constructs are shaking, must keep on creating but somehow i am delaying.  trying to get back into the editing groove to spin up the completion of this GP saga, hard though not having a roof of my own, i can only justify so much in borrowed space.  been a week long celebration since the premiere, now trying to do something, is it working?

12.8.06
well much to speak on and not much desire to stay stationary and type it out right now.  definitely have broken the computer habit since being back, which is great.  but considering that my job right now is computer exclusive kinda tears me up.  any way saturdays' pirate ride was dope.  i sherked almost all responsibility and just rode which was sweet.  unfortunately i was riding like a fairy.  about what i expected though, had literally not ridden my dh rig for two and a half months since the video's final edit began, feeling pretty out of shape and pretty cautious.  the length of the trail was a big factor for me.  had to really pace myself as i felt my strength ebbing half way down.  so kept it upright in both my runs and rode ok but my endurance was falling off quickly.  think my fastest run was the untimed practice and then i just started getting tired, so by the finals i was sloppy and couldn't get my time in the competitive range.  nice to get spanked though, very nice, no pressure now and a clear ceiling to bust through.  i was particularly stoked to have such a fast turn out for the ride.  easily the most competitive pirate field I have ever seen.  With five of the top ten riders coming from out of the area the locals were definitely challenged.  plus thehalf the field was top level expert or semi pro which is the kind of company we need more of.  so pretty excited to be in the running with an easy fifth in the game and can't wait to get soem fitness and confidence back as this month progresses.  as for the rumors of death and disaster at the ride see the coming ride 1 writeup for my well rounded opinion, here all i have to say now is I take as much blame as anyone.

11.19.06
Well things are wrapping, can't say wrapped, but wrapping and this stage is coming to a close.  Two days and I will be enroute to California with a completed film in hand.  Was very exciting when that first copy printed and worked, had to get down and thank everyone and everything that made it possible.  Only took two weeks of full time work and four days with a total of 12 hours sleep to get it done, but it is done, and in a fashion that I am quite proud of.  Everything from the film's content, edit, cover, trailers, promotion, and premiere has been a big step forward in professionalism and techinique.  That's what it is all about.  Got lots more in the works so hope all stay, or become, fans of the Fox Horn and continue to support the cause.  So don't expect any updates for the next week or so as I will be floating about.  And of course my disclaimer, if for some reason tragedy befalls and I don't make it know that I went without fear or regrets, proud of the life I have lived and my accomplishments.

Me or No, December 5th is Going Down!

11.16.06
presently i sm rendering the final timeline of Mobbers, just completed the final TV screen test to ensure that all vital material falls inside the crop lines, looking good, very pleased with what is coming out.  this is now my second attempt at this entry as my compu is refusing to multi task right now and continues to dump secondary programs.  i now feel it is time to reveal my design with this fast approaching premiere and dvd release.  ready to be at peace with the decision that has brought on more turmoil then any to date with this project.  the obstacle was simple enough, what do i show and what do i cut.  the initial timeline of chapters which i laid out for mobbers finalized at four hours with no way of cutting two hours without eliminating vital story components.  so my dillema was how do i preserve the record that this documentary is and how do i present a contiguous and engaging story without  asking people to sit down for four hours straight.  three choices were apparent and possible.  cut half the rider features and the pirate jump jam to present just the races and the riders featured at each.  cut the film in half and present a two part GP saga.  or revert to the initial plan conceived a year ago of a GP trilogy in which the first film (Gravity Pirates Beginnings) would cover the random footage collected around the birth of Piratedh, GP II (Mobbers) would be a compilation of all the key riders involved, and GP III (?) would be the entire 2005-2006 GP season.  for the time being i have put away the desire to release a commercially viable dvd, in favor of releasing one that will be priceless to my friends and family back home.  the december 5th premiere will be "Mobbers" a copilation of the uncut rider features coupled with the pirate jump jam coverage of summer 2005.  this will lay the foundation for GP 3, which will screen in January, which will include truly awesome coverage of all the pirate rides of 2005-2006.  the run time of mobbers is approximately one hour and fifty minutes, and i promise it to be educational, entertaining, compelling, and engaging beginning to end.  i know you will all be pleasantly surprised and will see things you never exoected, and things you have never seen before.  there will be a single feature dvd that comes out of the two parts, which will include the key racers and the races.  this is truly the best way to tell the story, though many sections will have to be cut, and it is this version which will air at screenings outside of humboldt and be submitted to various film festivals.  i just couldn't bring myself to show it at home.  so just to reitterate.  december 5th, humboldt exclusive, Mobbers directors cut, short dvd run, don't miss it.

11.14.06
oh my god, it's enough to make a director's heart stop.  don't want to bore you with the techincal and financial obstacles i have been dealing with so i will try to sum it up pretty generally.  my equipment is antiquated.  trying to do more with it then i should.  thought of upgrading mid project, but wasn't safe to budget that in mid production.  so decided to purchase more external memory.  of course it is half price online.  of course my ignorance lead to incompatible  hardware.  my reorder arrived to day (with seven days left to print and finalize) and didn't work.  i rush everything to the local computer store.  they confirm my reorder external enclosure is not functional rendering my new 320g hard drive useless.  so i buy yet another hard drive to plug into the first enclosure i bought (the one which the drive was incompatible with).  The cost of a new computer later i am headed home ready to move forward.  Plug the old beast in and she says "CPU INOPERABLE,CPU INOPERABLE,CPU INOPERABLE,CPU INOPERABLE,CPU INOPERABLE,CPU INOPERABLE,CPU INOPERABLE,CPU INOPERABLE,CPU INOPERABLE,"
no lights, nothing.  I flip, completely my worst nightmare, no matter how much you prepare yourself, everything changes.  Then i noticed my old nemesis, the jammable reset button, got bumped in transport.  a ray of hope.  twenty minutes, a screwdriver, much sweat, two flashlights and a butter knife later it pops out.  She fires back up.  now numb trying to figure out the best way to utilize/return all this extra crap.  can't really have too much disk space in this line of work, and will needing it as i dig in on the west coast so not a total burn.  just a scary few hours.  was planning how to cancel the flight and everything if she was down.  i couldn't go on with it.

11.12.06
nine days and counting.  too pleased with the graphic design today to be pensive or reflective or any of that junk that comes across so well in the log.  so going to be brief.  the final draft of the flick is done, just hanging till iget some more hard drive space to print it, yikes.  today wrapped the cover and disc design,  mmm hmmm, i like it.  i like it a lot.  took it way farther than i thought i would or could.  gives me pleasure to start figuring out shit that people pay money and go to school to learn.  in short i think it looks pretty pro.  and this is just the training project.

11.9.06
has it really been that long already???  jeez, well things are pretty darn good in the pirate world right now.  as you should have seen rides are falling into place for the 2006-2007 winter ride series, never thought it would go this long, but apparently it went just long enough to never stop.  so the pirates are wearing a lot of hat's these days and bringing you the same homespun, freedom wrought, liberty lovin downhill rides we have all grown to love.
on top of that i have possesion of a ticket back to california, and some pretty dope film sections i can't wait to share with my fellow mobbers.  remember first ride december 2nd, then the mobbers premiere on december 5th!  crazy times, crazy times.  i will in california on the evening of the 21st, hope you all hunt me down.  cause if you don't i am gonna have a lot of doors to knock on, don't think i won't come down the chimney either.

10.24.06
high diddily di, an editing life for me.  well in the last few days i have succeeded in cutting the first half of the film down a bit, and it is definitely better for it.  but when i say a bit i mean a bit, no where near the necessary cuts to fit everything i have spun up into a two hour package.  but just moments ago as i watched one of the rider profile sections and glowed and laughed and smiled i just kinda took a step way back, saw how much i like it all, and realized how much i want to share it all.  the idea of going out on a limb and producing a two disc (video magazine ish) series is growing more real.  eventually there will be a festival edit, one that will be an hour, and sadly, one that will exclude numerous rider profiles and several events sections.  that is the only way due to the sheer number of events and people that i am attempting to cover.  the way my mind works i simply cannot bring that version about for presentation before i foist the long winded version on peolpe, for fear that the audience might never again sit down to see the extended play, and for fear that i might never sit down to spin the extended edit...  it is starting to make sense.  kinda.  at least what i want and am unwilling to compromise on is coming clear, i am pretty stubborn on some things.  the only real concern is investing in dvd duplication on two issues... if the first flops the second might never occur...  but i really believe in my ability to make it happen, just the nagging societal pressures squelching the imagination a bit yet.  originally we planned for two issues, "Mobbers" was to include only rider profiles, jump jam coverage and selected adverts.  the second issue"GP forever" or whatever, was never set in stone, was going to be the series coverage.  I firmly believe though that the profiles and events compliment eachother and each is more poignant in the company of the other.  and now having seen them together myself i cannot go back.  so the only way to split it would now be right down the middle.  the first issue containing the first half of the series, and the jump jam, along with the associated profiles.  the second issue containing the second half of the series, happy trails, and associated profiles.  this would actually leave room for some bonus footy, of which there is plenty, which was not going to be possible if i crammed it all to one. 
plans need to be liquid, i have been too stubborn in my vision of a dingle feature film, need to sway with the breeze so i don't get uprooted in the squal.  would love to hear from anybody out there anxious to see the flick.  the more support i feel the braver i will be in pushing it forward.  things are startig  to fall into place, continue in faith and all will be sweet and sexy soon.
so in the next day or two i am going to make my older brother watch the final rough draft of the first half with me and we'll see what we see.

10.20.06
Allow me to spew negativity for a moment, before i focus on overcoming and solving my problem.  I have been working for two months, full time, on "Mobbers" and tonight roughed out the films' concluding segment.  Should be a cause for celebration right? Not qute.  As soon as the initial race section was completed I could sense that there was going to be a serious conflict between my sentimentality and the function and form of the film.  So I decided to move quickly through each section, editing it as my heart desired, and committing to coming back through on a second pass once I knew what the pace of the piece would dictate.  I have done so and I love each portion of the piece very much.  This evening I have just concluded adding up the length of this labor intensive rough out, brace yourselves, the work now sits at 4 hours and 40 minutes!  Oh Shit, oh no, holy jeez, what am I supposed to do about that.  With so much emotionally draining work ahead it now feels as if the last two months have simply been spent fucking around.  Like I just got my jollies and now I am supposed to really work.  Have to believe that somehow I can cut out nearly three hours of material and still maintain the same feel and look that I have been cultivating.  A lot of reasons and excuses I can sight for this, but mostly I suck, bury me now, perhaps they should bury me and let some real director finish my work and dedicate it to me on you tube or something.  Wish I could snap my fingers and present the whole five hours on two disc commemrorative set, action packed two hour commercial release, and the concise one hour festival screening edits but this represents months of time and thousands of dolloars in additional equipment necessary to do so.  wow, i am pale, want to curl up and quit.  can't do that cause I am so close to breaking down that if I did so now I would never come back and I wold never try again.  That can't be. This is my fire, i am being forged in the furnace.  My self education in entrepreneur film production.  yeah, learning a little bit.  so i need to cut an average of like five minutes per section over 22 sections.  that will be as hard as i make it.  need a couple days to realize their is no other way and then get brutal.  where as I have been editing hungry and caffenated, to maintain my creative edge, I now think I will finish this piece drunk so as to distance myself from myself and let the blood flow.  it will be done, much of my anxiety though stems from my commitments to completion.  feel as though i have painted myself into the corner and am about to start eating my arm to survive.  the clock is ticking, i am a time bomb in need of defusement, there is only one place that can happen, and i am thousands of miles away.  so please pray for me in the coming weeks, may the lord bless my efforts, and may i emerge a stronger individual because them.
amen
10.17.06
hay here's the rub, we'll one of them.  for starters i have no idea where the last week has gone... it certainley hasn't gone into mobbers the way it should. asdekl rhae.  Every minute now I am arguing with myself with regards to every call to include or exclude.  I know what I want to see, and more importantly what I want to preserve, and I know what professionals and the general public would deem worthy and interesting.  The two seldom meet.  I am overcome by the demands of a society that says if you invest in something it must turn a profit, therefore this must be a commercially viable film.  I would be crazy to invest so much time, energy, and money in a personal memento to present to loved ones right?!  I mean jeez what the hell kind of wealthy philanthropost do i think i am?  then there is the nagging idealism which says that if you follow your heart and put your whole spirit into something it can't be bad.  then i picture the reactions of most everyone i know, who is not in the film, and see them yawning and paying false lip service as they half heartedly pat me on the back and say nice work.  ew that erks me.  i want so bad to impress everyone to wow the lay-people and to stun the confidants  that i am having trouble resolving anything for myself.  but i guess amidst all the intenal arguements, as i keep pushing forward, something will emerge that would piss both of em off, and that may be middle enough to keep.
p.s.  i guess my frustration at the moment is with every f&*kin jerk who doesn't have the patience or experience to appreciate a huge amateur effort like mobbers.  so be warned if i smell half a heart i may snap, hunt you down, disconect your power, destroy all your appliances in the dark, tie you to a chair, and beat you with a hose before leaving you for... well don't push me.

10.10.06
Mobbers Update:  Well the month is flying along, and thankfully so has the edit the last few days.  Only due to the fact that I am logging  a steady ten hours per 24, and delivering pizza, on the project.  Just Two chapters to go in the rough out stage and it will be on to final draft time, YES!  Call the next stage real work because I will be spending lots of tiem on little pieces smoothing things out and adding effects, but this first stage has definitely been the most intense.  Aside from the massive amount of footage I have been viewing over and over I did not anticipate how emotionally tied I am to this project.  This personal investment in the film has me sweating every clip and every decision, not to mention flashing back, cracking up, and tearing up over and over again.  Going to keep pushing like mad to get it wrapped and printed.  Just lost one dude at work so I am working six days a week through the end of the month.  Pray my patience and eyeballs hold out that long.  Definitely a little testy tonight after working till five last night and then another eight hours today, but the moments are beautiful and the hope of sharing them fuels my flame tirelessly, just as a natural spring wells up to quench ones thirst so the anticipation of sharing my efforts with friends and family leads me through this desert of solitude.

10.07.06
mmmm, trying not to feel like i am bedding down in a grave of my own digging.  the film is obviously closer then ever.  but as the magnifier increases so does the task ahead.  lots of work, lots of cuts, makes me crazy to think about it.  trying to take it one day and one task at a time, but oh i can't settle, oh how i can't settle.  feeling like all the hype i have produced is pushing me on and i don't want to miss my window.  was it premature, pretty damn close will see.  not enough time now to keep all the p.r. going and work, trying to ramp it up.  sometime november if it means my life.  my job will be over in three and a half weeks, hopefully that will afford me time to wrap it quick if i haven't already.  no days off, that's the mantra.  no sleep before three (its after four right now) less food, more work.  that's all.

10.02.06
ho, gots a problem.  its october and i want to make a custom dvd edition for every person i know with personal bonus footage.  it can't be done, crap.  so tryin tryin to stay on point.  somedays just gotta edit like you don't give a rats patooty and wait for the inspiration to return.

9.28.06
oh my god, oh my god, oh my god....  still don't know what freakin day it is.  four in teh morning and no sign of sleep.  getting worse every night.  can't move before noon either.  but the progress made tonight has made everything worth it.  oh my god, i love it.  it is getting better then i had hoped and it isn't even polished.  have begun the happy trails section and oh my my i like it.  I have been laughing and crying all night and for the last coupe days for that matter getting it going.  i can't say more without giving the shizzle away.  it is just neat, that's all.  so now putting the eiditor away, trying to coax myself toward sleep, but i am so overwhelmed with plans and thoughts of cali everynight that i can never fall asleep till i hae layed down and meditated in the dark for at least an hour and half.  so, aniticipation, yeah we are real close these days.  I take her for long walks and she cuddles up with me at night, feeling like it is kinda a destructive relationship, wearing me out, hope to be over her by winter but having fun now.

9.26.06
jeez can't keep up with what day it is.  just when i think i am calibrating for the early morning work session and know what day it has rolled into I am still behind.  just a quick update.  as of tonight the film is roughed out through sean t's section, the chinese dh (beautiful for having got 0 footage), jakes section, and jared's section.  puts it at... really long and getting longer.  computer beginning to bog so moves that should be instantaneous are taking up to ten seconds my the end of the night.  makes it hard.  but pressing on.  one month?!  we'll see.  this process should have been alotted six months, trying to cram that much work into two.  i am doing my best.  just don't expect me to be in good shape when i get back west.

9.22.06
just went from high to low.  as of tonight the so hum shootout is about wrapped, rough draft that is, no titles, haven't finalized audio levels yet, and a bit of sanding still to do.  really like it all.  then mapped out what i am looking at time wise right now for the completed film... 3 HOURS!  No joke, straight up.  As I go at this point I am editing everything I want to convey it, and how I want participants to be able to see it.  Then when it is finished going to go back and make cuts for a film festival/general public cut.  but three hours is a lot even for a hometown crowd, and cutting two hours from that is going to be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard.  so i am going to press on, it will get a little easier, but not a lot.  really there isn't much fat on the timeline, have already trimmed the funny sections I wanted to include.  Just so many events and so much commentary it is a real challenge.

9.17.06
ok, tonight was a huge step forward on the film.  got the dia de los muertos section, pirate ride 1, ABOUT 80% DONE, and it is surpassing my expectations.  I really like it, but i feel i am painting myself into a director's cut corner.  the way things are looking the feature version of mobbers is going to be about an hour and a half?  maybe a little more...  now that is a very rough estimate, got a long way to go yet, and that can be easily brought down at the end.  but i don't want to.  the muertos section is currently sitting at fourteen minutes, and i think a very engagin fourteen.  i think this is definitely going to be the longest race section, just due to the mass number of riders that were present.  trying to fit everybody in and cover the stories of the day is difficult, but i think it's happening.  so if you would take a second and cast your vote below to give me an idea of what you all look for in yuor films i would appreciate it.  now i probably won't take your advice, but that is why they call it a directors cut (for you humboldt lovers) and extra features for the rest of the world.

Given That It Is Hypothetically The Biggest And Longest Running Event, How Long Is An Acceptable Length For A Downhill Race's Movie Section?  5 min. Hard Music, and absolutely no talking.  10 min. Decent Coverage of Practice and Finals With Two Songs.  14 min. Comprehensive Coverage, Interwoven Personal Stories and Anecdotes,  25 min. Show Me Every Run Down The Hill and Who It Was. Results

9.14.06
Life is like that "Bop the Gopher" game that has become such a cultural phenomenon in our lives.  There are references to it in commercials, cartoons, movies, and of course it has been a mainstay for decades in the arcades of America.  Before you wash this off as another manic, rant let me get to the point.  Life is like playing Bop the Gopher.  As we grow up we have to become accustomed to old friends, enemies, and family popping in and out of our lives.  Sometimes popping in and necessitating a gentle bop, sometimes a tender caress, and sometimes we want to throttle the gopher and pull it right out of the ground.  With some folks the frequency and nature of their popping is steady and positive, we known when they are going to stop by for a visit, and can predict what it will be abuot.  Of course there are the hungry gophers who pop in, famished for your energies, adn proceed to grub the garden of your spirit to mulch.  My gophers are sweet, they come bearing smiles, and honestly they intend no harm.  They pop up unexpectedly, just as I begin to wash them from my soul, sit and smile up remiding me pf wonderful days when the garden was full, lush, and our tunnels shared.  Yet I am torn between chasing them back into their hole and beginning anew, and giving them a swift bop wit the shovel and bringing the garden hose over to plug their hole.  The tricky thing about our gphers is that they are much more dynamic then those in the arcade.  Truly, we can guess at the gophers intentions, but can never really be sure how much their taste for destruction has subsided or grown.  So I sit patiently and watch the gophers, talking to them as they come, hoping that when the time is right I will know to ask them to stay, go, or to jump headlong into the hole.

9.10.06
Keep The FAITH today i went downhilling for the first time in, oh let me count now, over two months (probably almost three, can't be).  the faith dh rig sat at home in new jersey while i was riding the trance in singletrack heaven wisonsin, and jumping the STP all around lake owen camp.  meanwhile deluding myself that i might be able to get by without the big rig.  then there was today, a spur of the moment trip to diablo free ride park, twohours north, due to a day off work celebrating the bosses daughter's birthday (still with me?)  anyhow got the righteous shred on, and oh how it was good.  rode all day, non stop, last run was smiling ear to ear and flowing some of my biggest whips and wall rides of the day, then screaming in pain as i tried to hold on though the severe cramping in my fingers.  was awesome.  thouroughly exhausted now, thouroughly enamoured with my Giant Faith again, and thouroughly pushing on with movie work tonight.  Yeah I love to moto, the bug dug deep.  Not just in me either, brother Sean came along on the reincarnated bullit, oh yes.  Laid it down Pirate Shred style.  Suffered one fall which bruised the hand pretty good, but he did awesome, and he is hooked.  Its in the eyes, in the blood, you can even smell it on the breath.

9.3.06
holy crimes batman!  wow, been gone from here for a long time.  forgot how to do it.  at some points it is like breathing, guess it is good to get back to breathing though.  been busting butt to get a new trailer out, build the hype, get everything in order for a fall release of Mobbers, and pretty much set my world up to explode when it hits.  not feeling super wordsy right now, as i am nearly done getting the teaser live.  by the time you read this it will be.  so stay with us, piratedh.com isn't going anywhere this year, sorry.  below is my first synopsis for the film.  check out the teaser exclusively at myspace, for now, and look forward to a t shirt contest coming up later this week.  guess i should say "and much more"

"Now Online Is The Feature, And Final, Trailer For This October's Release, "Mobbers".  The film is the second installment in Fox Horn Studio's documentary coverage of the small, rural, and driven riding community of northern California.  Join unknown amateur and professional riders as they build their own scene from the ground up.  Witness the sacrifice, the joy, and the love that makes riding a way of life for so many who may never turn a dollar off their efforts.  The film follows the Gravity Pirates' winter ride series, free events organized by locals, attracting riders from all over the west coast.  These rides span the winter months when organized competitions are in hybernation, leaving hungry local riders with no option but to create their own events.   Despite extreme winter weather, liability threats, private property concerns, and the inevitable disputes that arise in an intimate subculture these riders mob on.  With features on many of those involved, along with colorful and intimate looks into a small town cycling community, "Mobbers" is sure to ignite a passion to ride in anyone."

6.4.06
been working delivery and getting the production gig elevated to pretend legit status.  just posted some original loops on the new fox horn link, check it out.  all me on the instruments and a friend clapping in one of em.  was fun, now ready to take it a step further.  that's all i want to say now cause i have been sitting here too long already.  things are good, sliding right along.

5.30.06
tonight was the first of my new job!  at last days and days of preoccupation and anxious expectation have been put to rest.  pizza delivery had even invaded my dreams, in which i was delivering to mob bosses of new jersey to prove my worth as a culinary carrying clerk.  went off super smooth, could hardly be better, work with two beautiful girls, free grinds, tips, super chill, time to read, a boss with an accent so think i can barely understand, all in all very new and exciting!  even though tonight was pretty slow as tips will go, getting a little flow of my own has gone a long way to fend off the depression that has been sinking in steadily since my flayle at the open.  my dissappointment with myself peaked when i was approached by john kirkcaldie the afternoon following qualifying.  what was once a boys wildest dream, to be recognized and addressed as a pro rider, is coming true, though with it comes necessary perception leaps that take a bit of meditation and experience.  john has come to know me and seems to take at least a little interest in my riding, as much as a man of his abilities and responsibilities can.  on day one of open practice he rode up from behind me by surprise and grabbed my front break, a classic friendly taunt, and we engaged in short conversation, i jumping on the opportunity to introduce him to my niece and vice versa.  anyhow that was awesome, but seeing him approaching after the semi was not.  did everything i could to avoid his eyes but he found me and asked pointedly how i had done.  to look john in the eye in that moment, with this first time icon interest, and explain that i had not even been able to qualify last while he snagged first was crushing nearly to the point of tears.  i needed to hang my head and crawl beneath a rock where i would give myself bruises, bloddy lips, and maybe knock a few teeth out.  simply disgusted.
too hard sometimes i know, i am sure it rolled right off him, everyone had bad days, sven martin rode even worse then i did.  now looking at it i can't imagine how i even thought i could ride a qualifying run without a single clean run the day of the semi.  i knew i had the lines, the skill, and the pace to do it.  yet it is not my way to come out blind or in "the dark"  whatsoever and clean a section.  so to struggle all morning with no rear brake, stopping repeatedly in each run, and expecting to be able to strap a different brake on and ride a different course well in the race run was totally assonine.  live and learn, it was a bad decision, given it to do again i would have taken care of the brake way ahead of time.
anyway to return to from whence i digressed...  was feeling pretty depressed.  failing at the open in front of my bro who was gracious enough to drive me up everyday, and failing to qualify for the sunday show which jed wanted to attend had me feeling pretty worthless.  not to mention the fact that i am completely broke and have accepted more handouts this year to get where i am then ever before.  i am thankful that so many believe or are supportive of my choices, but it is a blessing in disguise.  it truly bugs me to have to accept financial aid from others, especially with regards to racing.  the racing is always something just for me, something that can't really be shared, something i don't really talk about or want to talk about, and something that no one can directly (race day) help me with.  industry help is one thing, cool.  family help is another and lends to feeling a necesity for production and sharing that distracts and detract from my focus and enjoyment.  over analyze this batman.  i am a freak, these are the least of the things on my mind, thge most palatable.  i cannot share the real thoughts and concerns that trouble me, for they are too dark and strange to take back once released into the air.
but things are turning back for the positive.  my hand is beginning to feel and look better.  the job is rolling and money is soon to follow.  and the gp2 process has begun, long and tedious though it is it has begun.  so just help me out and keep hitting the site and spreading the hype because big hit days like today help me feel just that much better.

5.28.06
off today, blew qualifying yesterday with three get offs, can't remember the last time that happened.  a lot of contributers to getting so buggered.  had no rear brake all morning in crucial practice as the course dried, a pesky bubble decided to appear due to the angle at which our bikes had to be loaded on the lift.  beat myself up learning lines without it and when it came race time i just did what i had been used to doing even though i had finally switched the brake.  had a lot of uncharacteristic negativity in my head this weekend, even though i was having a lot of fun, a lot of frustration with things, and some bad decisions.  live and learn, need a psycho analist cause my head is going wierd places.

5.26.06 (night)
back from a fair bit of riding today, and a heck of a lot of driving.  nearly three hours there and three hours back.  a humungous thunder storm hit en route to the hill whilst amateurs were practicing.  turned the course nice and sloppy.  got there just in time to get the third to last entry of the whole event, close one.  then pplayed in the mud for three hours.  super cool track, good top to bottom.  liked the mud, lots of drity corners, then gnarly rock sections that tok everything and then some out of your upper body, and fun berms and speed at the bottom.  171 pros signed up and tomorrow only 60 will qualify.  think i sit alright, course had dried out considerably by the end of practice and tomorrow should be a whole nother game.  think i can stya clean top to bottom but it is going to be a challenge.  having rear brake issues, a hidden bubble creeping out every time i get to the top of the hill.  now it feels fine, so i don't know if i will buy a bleed, swap brakes, or just go with it and try to forget it.  cleaned up some super grubby gear tonight and a very packed bike.  also fixed a flat that mysteriously appeared at the end of practice.  three tubes later i determined that my cache of tubes is dysfunctional, each one splitting on the under side, on the seam, in the same spot.  DAMN.  go figure, so found the one off brand tube i had around, and i think it is holding.  now 11:30, should get to bed soon, not really worked up though, tired of it ruling everything, could take it or leave it at this point, just enjoying riding down the hill and learning some new things.  so broke that i can't really feel good about it again until i am on my feet somewhat.  looking forward to it though.  night.

5.26.06
off for day one of the U.S. open this morning.  was having a bit of a dilema thinking maybe i should race amateur and go for some schwag rather then hope for maybe a top twenty in pro.  going to be world class dudes atop the podium in the Open/Pro CLass.  no semi.  but as it is now 8:30 am here my decision is made.  amateur practice starts in half an hours, we have yet to leave, brother is in the shower and the hill is two hours away.  so we will get there just in time for pro reg and practice.  guess i will be pinning it with the crazies and seeing how dip i can dig.  oh well pro practice is more fun and productive anyway.

5.22.06
today was busy, busting, yet fruitful.  found my way many miles to my nearest banking location, quite trialsome but amounted to getting to know the area here a bit better.  then was on the job hunt, spreading resumes, shaking hands, and doing my best to impress those easily impressed.  at the end of the day i of course can walk into jobs at the fast food establishments of macdonalds or kfc this week.  though after stading around in there for long enough to take the 80 question kfc test and fill out the mcky d's app i know i don't want neither.  a lot of really crappy jobs out dere, damn!  holding out for pizza delivery.  its a chill gig here, most of the deliveries are on base, three and four nights a week, just evenings, lots of tips.  that would leave time to ride and be flexible enough to fit in the racen.  so will be fielding calls tomorrow and going back on second visits.  this evening went and roe Mcky G's for the first time in two years (the jump site here on base of my obsessions last visit).  Not as beat down as I anticipated, not to trashy, most of the breakdown has just been from rain on the sandy soil mellowing everything into tame wedges.  it has digressed a lot but is still way better off then when I found it originally.  I am very pumped to build it back up, very cool little niche of forest it holds, tucked right against a hill with numerous berms, in runs, and many many line possibilities.  MckyG's makes all the I.D. checks and the inhibitions of living in a tight community of service folk all worth it.  A jump site of my very own, since it seems there is no one else here who rides it.  Amidst the job hunt fitting in prep for the U.S. Open this weekend.  Pretty excited, it is going to be tough to make all the Norbas next month cause money is almost extinct, going to have to work and try to squeeze it all in.  Things are moving right along though so continue to have faith and all will be good.  Speaking of which the Graves XC Video Log is complete so keep your eyes open for the first installment here soon.  It has a bit of length to it so there will be four issues.  Take it or leave it, much love anyway.  Peace.

5.19.06
sliding back into jersey seamlessly.  got a lot planned for this summer, including a job interview this weekend.  waste no time!  in many ways it seems like i was not gone, and in others it seems like i was gone forever.  will take a while to translate into living with family; brother, niece, dog, hamster, and fishes.  one big happy house means more sharing, more compromise, and much less bike centric then i have been.  but it is wonderful to be with them.  it is so good though that it makes everything else seem small.  my sweet niece has the ability to rob all of my competitive fire and anxt to travel so i am going to have to develop my own scene here and get out from time to time to keep my edge.  feel myself becoming something warm and fuzzy already.  at least i have piratedh to keep the fire and brimstone flowing if all else fails.

5.18.06
yeah!  sitting in new jersey right now! ... yep still here, no pinch can change that.  a few times on the road i was thinking i had died and was just a spirit floating the limbo of imagination and intention, but it seems that i am still at least a small part of the physical reality and have made it safely to the destination of persistent meditation.  the trip, in a nutshell, sucked!  i remain appreciative of my opportunity to travel and am very grateful i got the chance to carry all my belongings out personally rather then entrust them to some shipping crew, but it was not fun and not something i would wish upon anyone.  the only good part was the accomlishment of doing it nearly as hard and fast as possible.  in hindsight i think of all the places i could have shaved time and the chances i could have taken to make it more extraordinary, but one would have to be truly insane to take that next step.  left the west monday morning after crashing at my pops house in ukiah, made it to jersey wednesday early evening.  two and a half days, sixty hours, 3200 miles exactly.  1300 miles on day one, 1500 on day two, and the rest on the final day.  as i was saying, it was a challenge that i had to undertake, self discipline you could say, or perhaps masichism.  not something i would wish on anyone, and not something i could see too many enjoying.  without anyone with me it was just pure focus on heading east and keeping my head away from doubt.  IT WAS GOING TO WORK, I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT, no "ifs" or "maybes".  There aren't many people i would travel such a long distance with, actually quite a few, but there are maybe three people i know who would be able to hang through the kind of insanity this journey was.  i didn't take any serious chances and obeyed all laws, but the taxing nature of so many hours behind the wheel pushes one to the limit.  i slept a total of 4.5 hours and this begins to pull one away from reality.  congnisance lapses became frequent, drifting away from present awareness, not knowing why or where i was going, like coming round from a brutal concussion.  happened after the first nap and some crazy dreams, and happened the second night as i bombed through some place.  was as if i woke up from a place out side of my body and had to figure things out anew, just knew t was a trip of great importance and that it had to do with bikes, the rest was gone.  Then i would slowly build the facts back together and get back into myself.  the frequent thought in these moments of psychosis was "where are my friends?"  thinking there had to be people traveling with me, telling myself it didn't make sense that i was enduring such suffering on my own.  literally told myself this when i came round from the first nap,  was looking for hank and rob thinking they had left me and that i needed to find them so i could take a brake from driving.  then i would slowly except the fact that i was alone, curse the lonely misssion and press on with even more resolve to get there rapidly then before.  as the lack of sleep compiled my drowsiness diminished but my cognisance dwindled.  would like to say that there were no hallucinations, but would not have been the psycho crazy mission i was anticipating without em.  a lot of flashes, lot of darting shadows, a few semis with antennae, just crazy what the mind comes up with.  really true what they say about clinical insanity after 24 hours without sleep.  the moose wasn't a hallucination thought!  the first night heading through nebraska what i first thought was a horse cruised onto the interstate.  was asking myself where the rider was and what the hell was going on, then realized it was no horse, was no deer cause it was huge, like 14 hands high!  pretty frightening in my mind state and the middle of the night, was just so big i would have been done if i hit it.  stopped for gas a coulple of miles after that and the attendant confirmed that there was a lake nearby and a lot of wildlife.  i had thought it was an elf, but when he said they had moose in the area i knew what i had seen.  more and more i was less aware of the world outside of me, it became as though i was traveling through a silent tunnel, only the light at the end to guide me, no idea what was outside of it or around me, and endless obstacles in my way drawing the length of the tunnel on and on.  i hate semi trucks and now believe we should undertake a second hollocaust to exterminate all truck drivers for the good of humanity.  road construction too can bite my smelly ass, let them deteriorate and then the people will have to come up with some other ideas about getting around, just don't give me one narrow lane crammed with madness while i am barely hanging on to the threads of physical control...  so yeah i was pretty bitter and ragey by the end, which made my vast of course approach to my brother's house that much more infuriating.  made a series of educated decisions to get there more smoothly but my reasoning was non existent.  so i got a tour of many a township and in the end got there much worse for wear.  i have to credit my video journal of the trip for keeping me going, the notion that some outside of my own discomfort might appreciate the pain that i was enduring.  also thank my many punk rock albums for their help in making it here, though many would not appreciate such music losing my voice again and again screaming out the energetic lyrics at night kept me going.  my harmonicas for the brief metal moments of relaxation and escape they provided.  and of course starbucks and red bull for producing such utility driven and unhealthy products.  that is all i have to say now.  i am here, just unpacked the car, and am getting read to settle in for a while.  brother has done an incredible job in preparing a space for me, i am so lucky.  a job is already basically lined up as soon as i want it.  met my jersey twin yesterday, the first person i talked to out of the car (have to mention that later, cosmically wierd, makes on a believer in things).  fresh start where no one knows my face or anything about me, so i can be anything i want.  amen to that and stay tuned for pics and possible a copy on the graves log video of the trip.

5.14.06
well coming around after the pump track party last night and a four oclock wake up yesterday to get prepped and make it down to the tour for video documentation.  the day went well, didn't get as faded as i had hoped last night, but after thursday's stumbled march through the streets of arcata that was for the best.  plus had enough coordination and cohesion to jam a little on the drums with brian's dad before me and the skins part ways for a while.  that was great.  so this is pretty much the last note for a little while.  please be patient i have tons of media and cool stuff ready for the page but have had no down time while preparing for this trip.  today is the last of the last and i really want to leave before the sun rises on me in humboldt on more time.  will be on the road for the better part of a week headed to jersey.  so check back soon to hear how things are going.  and finally i can't express how blessed i am to have all the good friends, colleagues, and support that i have here in northern california.  i have the upmost respect and love for you all and it is nothing against anyone that takes me away, only the desire to see the unseen and know the unknown.  really this departure is only a blink in the stream and we will be seeing each other much sooner then late.  as always piratedh.com is at the disposal of the people so hit me with anything you like.  be in touch and keep the mob rolling.
j

5.09.06
should be telling you all about fontana, should have brought back media and words.  should have been quicker on the world cup update.  should be making updates period.  but with only four days left till i depart for the east coast i have been infected with some serious mania, hard thinking straight and around all the things i want to do in the next 96 hours.  so hope you all come to our party, happy's birthday and my going away on saturday afternoon-evening may 13th.  going to be a rager.  at least i plan to be.  then gone.  poof...  and promise more attentive reporting once i have settled a bit a few thousand miles away.

5.2.06
Back from a fantastic weekend.  Finally got away after two failed attempts to get out out the last two weeks.  After a week of construction labor with Roxy CO. builders (ironically in the middle of remodeling one Justin Brown's House) I was ready to get back to my own gig.  Needed to make the money and the week flew by but i completely dissappeared for those five days.  So Friday headed over the hill to Redding to participate in the Shasta Lemurian Classic.  Maybe I shouldn't be telling anyone, but it was an xc race.  The weekend was absolutely fantastic; hot weather, beautiful terrain, rocky trails, and good company were all just was I was looking for.  Friday night mobbed the bikes around redding and hoteled it, then saturday morning up early and headed for the race.  Such a different energy for me heading into a xc event.  Don't train for em, rarely travel for em anymore, and have absolutely no pressure to kill it.  I can't say there were no expectations though.  I know my fitness is starting to come around and I know my bike skills shine bright in the often dull xc ranks, so I was planning on pushing till I blew and trying to lay some hurt on the lokes.  Went hard from the gun and stayed with the expert pro lead group for a fairwhile.  Legs were feeling very good up the first climb and maintained great position.  Into the DH section I was lucky to fall behind a fella who knew the trail and was rocking it.  Still was right on his butt, yet we were still able to make mad time.  Eventually got by him and he gave a couple of pointers on the next gnarly section and it was all good.  Came out of that section as the second Humboldt rider in the field which I was pretty stoked on.  From there I though I was leading the 20 mile race until I got to the next check point and was told that 1st place was 35 seconds up!  Just about shit myself and turned on the gas big time through the next single track section.  By the time we came back out I had closed the gap and blew past him leaving him about a minute back.  At this point I was beginning to feel my limited base caving as climbs would not quit and i struggled not to curse the course designers too much.  Next thing I know he is five seconds back on closing, then in front of me.  I sit on his wheel and realized I was on the only section of trail I knew and that a single track descent was approaching.  So I burned by him and held to the descent at which point he again dissappeared a minute back.  Thought I had him this time, thought the course would take me no more then an hour forty, thought I had to be on the final descent, no way.  We came out and the climbing REALLY started.  I was becoming demoralized, knowing I couldn't hold him off much longer if his climbing cadence kept up (dude weighed 130!).  i struggled to keep rythm but soon he was creeping up,  I pushed and stayed ahead to what I thought should be another dh section, but was horrified to see it get steeper.  Bobbled, lost traction, had to dismount and walk as he crept by and away.  Suffered up to the top coming to terms with his superior stamina and knowing the best man would win, managed to maintain alright but i was about popped as corn can get.  Finally the steep ascents gave way to the final roller coaster to the finish where my tired legs had enough lapses to recover and I picked up the pace enough to bring him back into sight once more.  Was closing fast until he pulled the look back and turned it up, then he was gone.  Heard he came across the line hot as the sun afraid I was right there.  Finished one minute back and was pretty stoked with the effort the duel had extracted.  We immediately congratulated eachother, commented on how remarkable our individual rides had been, talked to some adoring onlookers, posed for some pictures, it was sweet.  Real racing, the kind of battles that exhausted me mentally to the point of quitting xc years ago, this time it was a high rather then a deterrent.  In the end it turned out we were nearly ten minutes ahead of the next 20 mile finisher.  and both of us bested the previous course record by over four minutes.  Once we got to talking we soon realized our ages were seperated by thirteen years and therefore we were in seperate classes.  He had raced to second the previous year, had ridden the course a month before, and had helped mark/ridden the course a week before.  So he was derserving of the win, and I was stoked to be as close as I was considering the knowledge advantage.  Knew it was a good performance by how many people familiar with the trail congratulated me on the ride, apparently it was a really ripping run, and barring a few minor bobbles it was as good as a non endurance athlete like myself can hope for, no flats, no mechanicals, hung it way out in all the fast sections, pulled some ridiculous drifing saves, and didn't wad.
I was lucky to have the opportunity to be furnished with a Giant Anthem 1 for the race.  It was the first time I had ridden a full suspension xc bike hard and was so impressed.  Climbed like you would never think of using a rear lock out if you had one and descended unlike any xc bike I have ever ridden.  Like i said I pulled some sick drifts off where I thought I was done, and pinned countless gnarly rocky chutes blind and the bike took it all like butter.  Confidence from out of nowhere feeling the desire to pitch a strange 25 pound bike sideways at almost thirty miles an hour, wearing lycra.  That's good stuff.  Andy Davis, the Giant rep and head of the Giant Cal-Nevada Demo tour was pleased with the finish as well, in that it brought a lot of folks by the booth to check out the bike and talk with me about the ride, not to mention carrying the sled up to accept my medal and shamelessly telling the crowd "you all have to visit the giant demo tent and try one of these out, it will change everything!".  Yes Giant was well represented.
Rest of the weekend was just as sweet as I could have imagined, hung out helped a bit with the demo gig and visited with folks.  It was a little wierd and tiring, but cool, that over half the people I met there already knew me and details about my riding.  Approached by people I didn't know or recognize calling me by name and asking me about details from the past and present I often fail to realize are in the public conciousness.  So again felt that this was great representation for giant and did all I could to help out as I am so grateful for the support and quality products they are producing.
One of the most resounding themes of the weekend was dumping assumptions and classifications as I got to know people I had only, really, met is passing.  Was a beautiful and poignent reminder that you never really know someone until you KNOW them.  Not to say that I do now, but at least I am aware of how little I do know about those aquantences I make here and there.  The people I hung with from the race, from The Chain Gang Bike Shop, and from Giant were so cool, so welcoming, so helpful, and so full of experience and knowledge that I was humbled to earnest listening on many occasions.  Was great.  Sunday more demos and a DH ride down one of the coolest trails ever.  Prope to Todd Hoeft for contructing a masterpiece.  I was bummed in hindsight his name and an offer to call him up appeared so late in the weekend as I would have loved to ride with him.  So I will be heading back to Redding soon to hunt down the legend and get a few lessons in rock riding. 
Of course was a bit anxious to show off on blind terrain, finally crept around my guide and was ready to dissappear into a cloud of dust...  well i guess i did but it wasn't away but down as I just lost the front end trying to punch a corner for no good reason and pushed the front tire right through.  Was caught thinking about the guiy behind me and what he was seeing rather then focusing on where i was going.  Was ok aside from hamburger on both forearms.  Had left my new elbow guars at home because azonic brought me a size too big, want to exchange them and didn't want to take the chance i might actually fall and use them.  but i was ok and got another run in to make up for it, was very good.  on board a Glory too, surprisinglyt similar to my faith, felt right at home, could get used to it.  Now my arms are healing and I have typed for far too long this lovely morning.  Today the goal is to go out and ride my new trance for a long time to get the feel before i head for fontana tomorrow.

4.21.06
can you say freak out...  oh the pain of dreams butting against reality, the reality of having no income and having huge expenses ahead.  been putting off penning out the expenses fearing what i would find, trying to just continue on my jolly retired road.  but i can't ignore the impending disaster if i pursued all the fantasies i have laid out for myself.  just not possible.  feeling physically sick over it all and not sure what i am going to do with myself.  gotta be on house arrest essentially to make it to the east coast and perhaps NCS number one.  these races are freaking expensive!  but the real crippler is the sudden insertion of fossil fuel expense into the equation, it sucks, literally.  right out of my pocket into the tank, see all this freedom and possibility now being mobile but i just don't have the fundage to make it happen.  so fuck me and my ambitions, going to have to tone it down and just be content somehow.

4.20.06
been living in the past, whoa!  note that the previous entries were NOT typed in february. that is just me spazing and taking over half the month to realize when the hell i am.  the time in ukiah was sweet.  being away from it all and just focusing on riding and recovering was a very good time.  got to ride some breathtaking routes to boot.  was feeling pretty strong too, so it was all good.  today running mad errands, got the jake todd interview wrapped up, and concluded by flowing the skate park for awhile.  was having a great mellow session, really riding well, and learning some new lines i had never thought of before.  of course hung out a little bit longer then i planned, was brain dead and zoning out.  was just sitting on one of the tables, got distracted and went to dismount, crossed the bars up and fell like three feet to flat.  felt like a tool crashing at 0.0 mph.  landed right on my bad hand, jacked it right back up.  was doing so much better too...  so tonight ice and advil, hoping with some tape i will be able to shred in chico this weekend.  just gotta be smart and take er easy.  no need to push it.  right?  right.

3.16.06
sunday is here, the sun is back and i am stoked.  heading out to mendo for a few days.  going to get away from the techno and reko distractions, spend some solo time with my paps and shred my road bike hard.  looking to get in no less than one hundrd miles over two days down there.  should be a good time for it (weeks to fontana) and will give me the base and confidence in my legs that i need.  then will be coming back, continuing the GP2 interview hunt (already have four big names scratched off the list) before jumping in with the Giant Demo tour in Chico and Paradise next weekend.  Do some shredding there and get my rock fix on.  Then come back, prep for the Shasta lemurian, more interviews, some road footage for the tour vid, and of course ride my brains out.  Ok enough forecasting gotta load up and hit the road.lates.

3.14.06
how altering light can be.  context and assumptions lead us to believe we know people that we, in fact, cannot begin to grasp.  i experienced this tonight, being introduced into an acquantances extended life and art.  i was blessed with the presentation of this woman's writing for my eyes to study and found a small fire rekindled in my brain's creative corner.  realizing how much there is to be said and how valuable it is to day it while the channel is open.
my days at this point are simply extraordinary, i cannot say more or less.  while i do not wish to gloat or obsess on my perception of sucess, i do feel that my thoughts and movements today and every day in the coming months should be documented with the appreciation and wonder with which i am receiving them.  so the works i read tonight are but another of the life laxatives i have been pumping down to get things moving and lighten the load.  i feel that my logs, digital and physical, have not been what they should be of late.  just as the croaking canari in a mine is a sign of unhealthy conditions, the drop off in my desire to write has been concerning me.  but cycles are what life is and as i come around into a new season i see much inspiration and opportunities to engage my open mind ahead.  so i will do my upmost to keep this as a hub of cycling stories and personal adventure, firstly for my own expolsion, and secondly to pass along the stoke to those who need their fire stirred.
today came a grand commencement in the journey now exactly a month away.  the procrastination i had applied to my plane ticket search was rewarded with a perfect opportunity, as only providence could supply.  my good friends jed and kelley left today to return to the midwest for the summer.  unable to sell their second vehicle they sought a dependable east bound citizen to deliver this hefty package to them in the not too distant future.  enter me.  and so i will not be needing to ship a single bike, or be concerned with bubble packing my editing deck.  instead i will get to see some new country, sing aloud to myself until my voice turns to a dry rasp, and see my friends much sooner then expected.  patience and faith moves great obstacles with ease.

3.11.06

3.31.06

pretty much counting the days and hours.  today is second to last in shop.  very happy about that, has gotten old like an old sore.  will be a much better person once i shake myself loose.  april is going to be a kill month without having to clock in anywhere but onto the bike.  so look me up sunday night i will be celebrating a long year of being gainfully employed.

3.30.06

suppose i should have a comprehensive report of the trip to carnegie this last weekend, was preparing it but now i just don't see that as proper time allotment just days before sea otter.  for the first time in a long time i finished almost dead last.  had a quick run but a sloppy run on a trail that was way too short to do that.  was unhappy with the run but happy to get spanked, really sparked someting in me that hasn't been sparked for a long time.  since we got back everyday has bee filled with a lot of riding and pushing myself to the edge of the comfort zone.  seeing what the pace is showed me how far off it we are.  so in short, humbled in the bog pond but the room to stretch and sprint about outside the confines of the fish bowl is going to be a very healthy and liberating thing.  think i will learn a lot this season.

3.29.06

I Love John Kirkcaldie, and I Love These Pics.  Check It All Out At www.jkgravity.com

3.23.06

pretty occupied these days.  even if it isn't actually doing something, just meditating and planning for the season is all encompassing.  haven't had much time to write here or in my physical journal.  this will pick up once i am doing the things i am thinking about now.  one step at a time.  this weekend going out for the race formerly known as the groovy gravity games.  stoked to be attending a real race outside of myself with some fresh shredders.  so i will bring back at much as i can.  till then peace.

3.21.06

Pretty Excited, Someone Outside Myself Took The Initiative To Interview Me.  Things Seem Complete Now.  Think It Needed To Happen In Some Form, But I Just Couldn't Create It Myself.  So This Is Your Graves Log Reading For Today.  Check It.

3.19.06

the karmac balance astounds me.  this morning i rode to work, took it easy cause i wasn't feeling well, but it was hard because i wasn't feeling well.  so as i got breakfast at wildberries i was pretty spacey.  after opening the shop and taking all the bikes out i realized my yogurt spoon, and less immediate but more importantly, my wallet was m.i.a.  rushed some browsers out of the shop and raced back to wildberries where i scoured the floor, checked the lost and found and preused the parking lot.  no go.  so after checking through the shop one last time i accepted it and called the bank to put a stop on my atm card.  as i was holding for an operator i got a call on line two, turned out to be meredith at six rivers saying she had uncovered our box or dvds and goods by their dumpster!  aside from being a little water logged and the bottom of the box being filled with cigarette butts it was all no worse for wear.  so i have gotten over the wallet, know i can get by.  and just stoked that the dvd whole has been filled, not to mention all the pirate stickers and rough draft of the magazine.  booyakashah.  peace.

3.16.06

been feeling real bad since saturday,the worst was unfortunately on sunday, the day of the swd dh.  i was stoked though to go out and take part in the show.  getting to watch the shredders from the silent sidelines was sweet.  and a quiet walk in the snow blanketed woods was just what i needed.  today is the first day since saturday my head is really back on straight.  got a great shred in yesterday at the track, and between tuesday and wednesday learned some new lines and maneuvers i had long put beyond myself.  so that feels good and my patience is returning, realizing some realistic balance to my desires is going to be necessary to keep my health, and with that focus the move is becoming a very feasible reality.  got lots i want to bring to the page in the next month, but of course limited time.  so stay with me and i promise it is only going to get better.