3.10.06

freak out time.  feeling like a frayed rope.  work at the shop is killing me.  too preoccupied with films plans and summer season planning to focus on work and it has siply become an obstacle between me and the things i WANT to accomplish in the next month before i fly out.  so many things i want to contribute to the scene while i am here and now cause i know i will never be again, but it is just so many i can't function.  not financially where i would LIKE to be but my sanity is priceless and working at the shop with the commute and the crew is just driving me bonkers, trying to remember and fit in all the things i need to do, wish to do, plus training, shredding, and chilling.  the breakdown at the premiere showed me i am too caught up, when the preview glitched it just spoiled my whole night, almost my whole week, just piling too much pressure on myself to deliver perfection.  get really down on myself and start seeking self punishment when anyoversight slips in, so you can imagine how i felt after realizing i had lost all the goods at the brew pub and almost melted my hero's kitchen!  feel like an ass, feel like i have so much to pay back it is distracting me from the goals at hand, to be the best person i can be and live well.  as old friends dissappoint and deceive, new friends amaze and lift me up, a trying transition.  need to snap out of the seen and not heard roll, the speak when spoken too cause this constant comelyness is also holding me back and stewing me up.  but existing without my own space leaves little room to express.  things will get better, just gotta  find more time, probably means quiting work.

3.10.06

premiere night went off with a bang.  filled six rivers to capacity and raged it.  i was bumming cause my hot new preview reel glitched out half way through the tease for tour of the unknown coast.  still haven't quite gotten over it, was heart breaking to see two days of solid labor go down the tubes.  not entirely but i think you can understand looking forward to sharing something as much as i did this and then have it flop in front of all your peers, was pretty pissed with myself.  eventually got schwilley enough to forget it and have a good time.  pitchers later me and happy were the last ones there, knocking over bar stools and moshing by ourselves to two pretty lame bands.  then we barely got the p.a. loaded and outta there only to forget all the dvds and schwag, my camera with all the hot photos of the show, and a gift of chocolate covered strawberries.  then happy almost fried the p.a. trying to stumble it back together at home and i almost set the house on fire, passing out with shit on the stove.  was ridiculous.  hurt all day today, praying that goodwill or good fortune returns the dvds to us, and glad that this is over so i can chill and get a little more reclused.  i am lucky to have so many friends and acquantences, would have enjoyed it better had i not failed, but it is taxing being layed out before so many people so to speak.  my hand still isn't all better from the last pirate ride and it is damn sore after all the hand shaking and fist pounding, but that's life.  feeling pretty good though, so goodnight.

3.5.06

THE move, the largest and first step toward the BIG move, is behind me.  thouroughly exhausted form the all the mental and physical output plus the sudden necessitated commutes to work.  loving every minute of it though, even if my tired eyes look puffy, distant and vacant at times.  thats all tonight, be settles into a more expounsive routine soon.

2.23.06

i think i have drawn this analogy before but i am going to draw it again, and this time to the effect of following my own advice.  the pirate keys have become an incredible load, muc as the ring of power which was to rule middle earth bore upon young frodo as he struggled to bear his burden.  what was meant to bind the outlying camps and rule them with benevolence has twisted and deformed that which i loved.  the truth of power corrupting is more infalible then the sun rising and setting each day.  as the monster gew i have seen it grab and twist too many around me, myself included.  i have been caught up in the power, the possibilities, and the potential.  forgetting the central focus and passion which began my journey with the ring.  just as frodo failed as the last to cast the ring into destruction i have sherked the simple task of simplifying that which has become so distorted.  "give it all up to get it all"  is what a good friend has told me time and time again.  it is, at the same time, the simplest and most impossible thing to do, the same reason that commusism has failed time and again, and the same reason that man will not rule man to ought but his injury.  there comes a time when the wise admit their imperfection and cast off the burden of responsibility, handing it back to the individual and allowing the natural order to take its course.  now is that time.  circumstance i so vainly hoped would dissappear under the rug have become a grostesque lump that hjas shifted my views and forced me to take actions that i had only approached in my most private thoughts.  the grandiose climax to my career as pirate captain, the one where i stand atop the podium, ruler of all, spoils in hand, and peyons at my feet has finally been revealed to me for the disgusting and prideful plan that it was.  the thought of pushing things any further in this direction, while it seemed necessary, now turn my bowles in their utmost depths.  so i have repented before my friends and my maker, asking for forgiveness, thanking for the lessons, and accepting the understanding this has brought.  my hands are now washed of the game, i cannot promote a system i no longer believe in any further.  therefore, i am sure, pirate rides will continue as they once did, spontaneous and spread out events of homegrown magic.  my mates will continue to shred with the love and desire that enfused me nearly seven years ago.  and other auspicious promotions will rise and fall as mine have.  i will continue to advertise and support all, but can only now pursue my brand of riding, which at this time will be very solitary, as the mediation and instigation has worn me to the quick.  i invite my mates to invite me to shred anytime and anywhere, and i will do the same.  pirate will continue but the ring has been bitten from my finger and dropped into the mountain of fire.  the remittent gollums that we use to guide us through the world end up playing a grand and dynamic role in the layout of events, as it is meant to be.  evil is sometimes necessary, for only when too such unwielding fronts converge can the calm prevail.  this sounds tripped out, so forgive me, but the righteous path has been revealed.  it has been before me all along but i have been to blinded by the rings power to see it, now the fog has been lifted and i am happy.  best to everyone everywhere, i return and remain your humble servant.

2.21.06

body is coming around, and so is the move.  going to be obsessed with that and my daily list of todos for the next two weeks.  therefore i simply can't afford, time or money wise, to make it out for a pirate ride this february, simply can't get away.  perhaps i take too much on and seek too much perfection but i want to upcoming video premiere to be all it can be, gotta wrap some media issues asap, gotta get healty and fitter, and absolutely gotta be out and have the apartment spotless in ten days.  wow.  enjoying it though.  my friends were trying to console me amidst the madness yesterday, i told them they had it backwards, i have not been this happy and excited since the last time i threw all my belongings into one vehicle and hit the road. gave away over half my homes furnishings this week.  the best high i have had in long long time.  people think it is crazy, give me strange looks.  valuable stereo equipment etc. etc.  but much of it was free, and most of it was cheap, so io pay it forward, free my mind of the burden and fly on higher then ever carrying a kindly yoke and a lightened load.  maybe it was the whole duffle bag youth that has me this way, but i just can't stay.  so throwing all the chickens into march, going to be crazy, and hope i can make it through.  with y'all by my side i know we will.

2.18.06

busy, busy, busy.  wish i could run, or even speed walk for  that matter.  think the body is taking care of business, just gotta bide the time.  but lke i said a lot of things on my daily checklist now and it is only going to accelerate until my house is clean and i am out on the streets.  got many things pending for the web soon, just cause you don't see it doesn't mean that we aren't hard hard at work, everyday, every hour really its on the mind.  so have more soon, i know that saying gets old, but it is what keeps me going.

2.16.06

large pauses as i struggle to keep my head out of the shadows.  been spending my locked indoor hours striving to get media to shre with you all.  many failures later i am still empty handed.  i am sorry.  vidication can only take but so long.  the more i think about the freakness of my latest hurt the more my head burns in comfusion.  think my mouth has run to much and i have gotten the lashes i deserve.  so now i pray for humility and grace to guide my through this struggle.

2.11.06

how quickly edits stack up!  jeez, looking forward to having my own cubicle this summer, the site is going to be firing!  but for now i hit it haphazardly as a one winged buzzard would circle a corpse.  for example the photo archive page where none of the ride pics from this year were archived.  jeez!  feel like a tool sometimes.  plus there is a lot of potential media from ride #4 that i want to post, plus sick shredding in e-town, but finding the time, jeez!  been crunching the candle at both ends the last few days rebuilding the gpb dvd, got he hard drive working, and re organizing hundreds and hundreds of files.  jeez!  ok enough with the blasphemous misspellings.  hope to have the first dvd transcoded by tomorrow morning, that is if i can put up with the pain in me body now that my small allotment of pills from the er are exhausted.  oh yeah that is why i signed in here, to set the record straight.  so this is how it went down, just to clear up all questions.  wednesday rolled around.  knocked out a bunch of business in town and then rode to eureka on the stp with my bullit in tow.  spread some gp2 teasers around and then showed up at happys, ready for a little lunch and a warm up before heading to the bmx track for evening practice.  well my euphoric super state was too good to last.  we began simple mods on the tracks smallest double, literally knee high to a grasshopper.  the hoped bonzai turned into a kink.  darren test rode it on my bike and we knew it sucked.  i was feeling like a general, or something, so i insisted on trying it before we altered it further (knowing full well what i would encounter).  looked at my helmet on the ground and decided it was not necessary to wear it this time.  yet as i rolled around the corner and up to the jump my gut told me i was definitely doing wrong breaking the tracks number one rule.  this doubt was the foremost distraction in my mind as i rolled off the kinked lip, seeing what might go wrong, rather then focusing on what would go right.  big mistake.  plus i was focusing on the imperfection of the lip and therefore rode straight at the roughest point on the far left of the lip, seldom my line.  as soon as my bodys inertia was committed my mind gavqe in to the unavoidable disaster.  just as it had been at stars when i was focused on how the crowd would perceive me rather then manipulating my bike, i went down hard.  the kink absorbed my speed and booted my rear end high.  i was nosed in and committed, resulting in a full on front wheel case, catapulting me head first into the following lip.  a four foot wall of packed blue groove dirt met my naked dome, and as i rolled away i knew i had made a foolish, prideful, and potentially catastrophic decision.  stars danced before my eyes, but i was quick to note no loss of conciousness or memory.  yet my neck was toast.  check the appendages, more then half expecting things to be unresponsive.  coming off such a high and riding so well it seemed that the low would be as extreme a swing.  what sent chills down my spine (figuratively) was the deep deathly numbness swallowing my neck and upper back (literally).  i had never felt anything quite like it before, not even when i ceizured just over a year ago.  plus the kids who witnessed it were freakin me out with talk of ruptured discs and noting the deep dent from my head in the dirt.  so i picked myself up and dissappeared inside, tearing myself down in everyway.  sure that i had once again sacrificed my shot at a successful session.  i nursed it for an hour as happy ran about fetching ice, stealing a neck brace from st josephs, and making calls to see what out options were.  fantastic friends.  after sinking deep into the realization that all might be lost i had to go get scanned to know what was going on inside.  so hanks ambulance took me to the hospital on a homemade stretcher and the professionals took it from there.  hours later i was trying to refuse a morphine iv as the insisted that i take it.  finally they gave in and we agreed on one shot.  at this point the doctor was under the impression i had fracured the extension on my c-7 vertebrae.  minutes later a call from the radiologist revealed that what appeared to be a fracture was in fact a "secondary osification" or a refusing of less densed bone that had simply gone unnoticed a year ago, and may have always been there, or may have been an undiagnosed break.  so tension quickly subsided after receiving the, quite literally, "you're the luckiest man alive" lecture.  at which point i was once again thanking the lord for his kind and wise guidance in slapping me just hard enough this time to make it stick while not betraying the hard work and repentence that was in my heart.  so once again shocked awake, look like a couple weeks before i am really back to it, as my left knee is really swollen and stiff too.  but much better then the alternative series of months which i had anticipated while considering life after riding.  at this point in my life i was shocked what a none option that is.  while i laid in happys house running over and over it in my mind i was broken, i seriously considered the option of a gun to end it, no joke.  luckily i was certain brian didn't have one so i thought that it could wait a day.  in hindsight the hospital visit seems perhaps unnecessary, though i am still in intense discomfort, seeing that nothing was actually broken.  in fact as we pulled tward the e.r. i almost cried out against admittance, feeling that the pain had begun to subside.  my guit was right at that point, just as it was in rolling up to the jump skid lid free, but at a point in which all of my riding dreams are coming true no cost is too great to ensure my soundness of mind and steadfastness of course as summer approaches.  simply put the experience refocused everything and motivates me to redouble my efforts.  the timing could not have been more divine as today ended my 30 day mandatory remittance and the need for pureness of mind is more important then ever as i will have to watch my brother slide back into the rut we have inhabited for so long.  on the ceiling of the e.r. were two posters which gave me comfort, hope, and understanding during the hours of pain which i experienced in the house of the angry river.  the first was a qoute of aristotle which read, "Nature does nothing without necessity."  The second was an unknown voice to me but of similar inspiration, "Without tribulation we would not have rest.  Without sorrow we would not have joy."

2.10.06

finally got the new external drive back and online yesterday, which means that fresh and updated copies of the gp movie will be on shelves soon.  it is the encore addition with mucho bonus footage that has never before been seen.  so look forward to that, within a week i promise.  cross my heart hoped to die, when i thought i broked my neck, almost cried.

2.7.06

i am not that hungry but i am going to eat my words right now.  the pirate schedule is once again in flux and i hope that you all can bear with as we try to organize a fun ride or two before spring hits.  i have sensed for some time the pitfalls of making my thoughts and feelings public.  and i have feared as well the growing tension and politics in the pirate scene.  i have always been prepared to meet any personal repercussions head on for anything i have said as i strive to write nought but truth.  but the nightmare for any journalist or promoter is that their actions might endanger or harm others who would otherwise have been untouched.  it now seems that this has become a reality.  perhaos nightmare is a bit too mellow dramatic, business of late has turned my stomach a bit queasy but such is the nature of business.  unfortunately the pirate game is not one that makes me any money, rather i am sinking for it, owing the bank and the bills with less then ten dollars to my name (quite literally).  and as such it is not a game i got into to exclude anyone.  pirate has always been meant to be all inclusive, and beyond that i have always hoped that it could inspire the uninspired to get onto their bicycles at least once a month.  indeed we have found many successes in this department.  yet recently it has fallen onto me to dictate who can or cannot participate in pirate events, something that is beyond my capacity as pirate producer and as a human being.  i would fold it all up right now and hand everything away before telling an eager party that they could not come and ride with us.  this said i am extremely grateful for all of the support and friends i have made through these last few years in the pirate game, especially hard working boys behind T.R.P. (Patrick Jackson, Amos Pole, and Nathan Pole).  They have given pirate some of the best races humbooldt has ever seen, along with the right to ride some of the greatest trails i have been priviledged to shred.  it pains me to see promotion interests come between myself and my primary passion, riding.  this website, from its earliest itteration, has always been about giving credit and coverage to the riders of humboldt.  and that is what it will continue to be, i hope that motivation never changes.  but somethings do change, life is fluid, we have to flow over rocks, deal with eddies, and plummet over the occasional waterfall.  but pirate is about riding and that is what i plan to continue doing, so i think that the pirate will continue as well (at least for the time being).  i don't know what else can be said here, i wish that there was a more definitive conclusion i could give at this point but there is not.  just follow your guts and do what you believe is right, though it is never easy, and all will be well with you.

2.4.06
sorry for all the jerking around with dates, but now it is settled and i am not going back.  part of it was indirect contact with steve delay, the man behind swd, but i actually spoke to him in person today and all is set for march which is what works best for him.  so expect to ride with some rippin pros and have a shot at some swd framage next month.  the other part was me resisting the extension of what sometimes seems like a burdenous series.  but rob rhall got me all buttered up today like a hot roll, so we are good to go for two more.  chainless this month for the fun and finals next for the glory.  see you then.

2.3.06

definitely on the upswing today.  was able to make it through the day without getting pissed at anyone!  shows i am getting some energy back.  still one hundred percent focused on regaining my health, so no drinky or party for me this weekend.  not that i have the scrilla for it anywhose.  plus decided we are through with the jerking around and sent in our 30 day notice today.  very liberating, glad that today was the last bit of money i will ever send to american property mismanagement.  hope to be up for shredding come days off on monday, whether or not the weather agrees.  will probably busy myself with packing this weekend.  did premiere the new gp 2 tease to some today at the shop, should have a version up on the web this weekend as well. out.

2.2.06

new month, same crunch.  the exposure this weekend got to me, guess it is going around.  nursing a flu, been house ridden the last few days.  some good has come of it though as a new GP2 teaser is about to hit a screen near you, plus talk of a hypnosis premiere this month.  so hang tight, sip you tea, and pray for me.  no that's ok.  the hand is feeling better, still bum but don't think i will have to visit the hospital.  that's all, now i am going to crawl back to bed.

1.31.06

winter racing is tough.  train hard and then race hard in freezing cold, wet conditions, pretty much asking to get sick.  i and jake are both there right now.  just going to have to nurse it for a bit, not too bad, just draaaaaaging.  plus nursing what seems to be a mild boxer's fracture in my right hand.  just glad the adrenaline could carry me through my race runs, taking the gloves on and off wasn't very fun.  and on top of that with all the time off for pirate prep, racing, and just not desiring to work looks like i am about out of house and home.  so gonna have to live on the streets for the next couple to scrap together some travel funds.  oh the aches of reality catching up.

1.30.06

here tis, my rant, yarghh!  don't loo back now or risk being turned into a pillar of salt.  yesterday morning, race day, I was not feeling it.  yesterday after the race, I was barely feeling it.  On my bike, I was feeling it.  Curtis caught on during the car ride out and called me out as he always does, asking me "what the somber shit" was all about.  I am a victim of my own success, or crippled by my own creation sometimes.  When i started the pirate hype that is what i wanted, to hype the thing and make everybody feel like pros, to make me and the other shredders push harder, go faster, and feel hungrier.  Now that vibe is catching up.  I think certain people are taking the chase to personal.  Yesterday when the times were announced and, as I expected, I was a large margin ahead (the pro margin that i am after) i saw the faces of my friends and associates and it brought me down.  Plus it has gotten serious to the point that friends aren't coming out because of the damage it might do to the ego or to the pride to get romped by those who have been riding more.  When really thre pirate season is supposed to be a reason to get on your bike, the pirate season is for practice.  now it seems to legit and people are baking away for more low key options.  i am definitely COMPETITIVE, and if you don't know that then known it now.  so i can't see people practicing and just give up the advantage, I approach all of these as races, cause if I was at a national I would be practicing every day for several days (its the only way to REALLY pin it) and a pirate event isn't any different for me.  but it seems that this spurs on others (which is good) but for those who can't match the commitment it is discouraging.  that is what i loath the most, when my drive and success discourages others, and maybe i am just tripping, but i see it a lot.  I was seriously not going to race yesterday until curtic helped out my confidence (he is a great guy no matter what anyone says and i was proud to see how he handled himself in hoopa yesterday given past head butting).  plus the difficulty of running a race well while trying to race it well.  yesterday the timing and seeding and signups lagged becuase i was overcome.  last year being injured i was able to focus everything on the promotion and it was great, looking at the picture of last years champs with their money and gear makes me happy, cause i am not it it and because as a promoter it was a huge success.  now i can't shake the feeling that people feel i am hustling them, calling them out just to kick dirt on their shoes, this in the back of my mind makes me a lot less social then i should be at the races.  yesterday i took off last both runs cause i knew i was riding the course fastest and i was running the start.  i shouldn't have to think about it but i was glad someone was their both times to verify my starting time because i think people doubt it.  maybe not straight out, but when they announced i had won by thirty seconds i could see some doubt.  to me that is just the confirmation that all my time on the road, on the dirt jumps, in the skate park, lifting my weights, stretching, practicing corners, running, etc etc etc is paying off.  i don't see anybody else doing it so thirty seconds makes perfect sense to me.  i thrive in the mud, i have more fitness on a course that was all about fatigue, and my approach is just more professional.  i hope the wrong people don't take this the wrong way but these are the things i was feeling yesterday.  so now that that is clear, i am definitely looking forward to the real season and riding with fresh folks where there is little or no history and it won't be taken as personal as shit is in a small town.  but i think i will ride out the pirate series because i love it and love you guys and girls and this is who i am.

so now my run report.  as i said before i do well in the mud and was hoping it would be sloppy.  i was running the swampthings (big up MAXXIS) and me and those tires get along great.  in a race like yesterdays pre runs are only worth so much.  i rode none of the lines i had practiced last week, i was running my suspension different then last week.  the course was so different you couldn't rely on memory, only reflex and feeling the bike.  last week i was going a lot faster (as it was dryer) so i had my high speed compression ramped way up cause i was punching corners and drops and roots a lot harder.  almost no slow speed compression.  yesterday i was on the brakes a lot more and was bottoming out on the steeps and g-outs just because of brake dive.  so less high speed, and a lot more slow speed.  worked well.  in seeding i had put off the every 2 run adjustment of my brake levers.  the sole reach adjusters backout so fast that after 2 runs they will pull to the bar.  it was working ok in practice so i decided to stick with it hoping they would collapse any further.  well they did.  it sent me sliding once right at the top, then i cleaned the off cambers and the rest of the wood rat, but my crappy spd's were clogged as i hit the wood rat creek and i couldn't clip in.  i tried to make it up the climb, couldn't, had to dismount and run up (as most did apparently) then i was back on it but the brake issue caught me again after a steep straight into right hand berm.  couldn't get my direction changed and plowed through the berm into a tree, hung my helmet on a branch and tried for what seemed like ten seconds to get unhooked, then all was fine, until i got out of the rock section and felt my rear tire groing flat.  by the bottom high speed section it was gone, but didn't leave the rim and i (to my surprise) cleaned the bottom section and final off camber traverse.  thought the run was crap, but so were everyone elses, and underestimated how fast i was going without brakes.  a 4:16 was apparently pretty good, and damn good considering my problems.  so then it was back up, fixed the flat (which invariably delayed the start the beginners could have had), dialed my brakes out a bit, and back to the top.   last run was looking to do two things, stay up, and keep my feet in so i could make the short climb.  right off the bat the brakes were giving me way more control.  the wood rats off cambers were slicker but i was able to set up better and made it through with sick flat track style.  got off line into the g out but held it together.  was going much slower and almost let myself crash cause i was so disgusted with my pussy footing, but the course was also a lot worse so it was ok.  then took it real easy throughg the creek, concentrating on having my feet and the gear to make the climb.  did, yes.  was slow but knew that was a big step.  then started opening it up.  was surprised at every turn how blow out shit was and found myself grabbing a lot of brake.  realized how well they were working and was like "oh shit i can feel myself slowing down, stop it!"  so started flowing, but as i said things were way blown so had to be careful, didn't know what was gonna happen, lot of logs became uncoverd that were kickging the read end left and right, but thats fun.  as i came into the final third an amazing things happened.  the hard stuff was behind.  i was exhausted, hadn't eaten much cause i am surving on ten bucks this week, had been panting and fogging my gogs for the last two minutes, and then the rythm came.  the confidence came, the flow came.  my mind relaxed and my breathing slowed, big time.  began to take long deep breaths, began to shift into higher and higher gears, began to stand up and pedal everywhere i hadn't before.  then i caught sight of something ahead of me in the trees (it was hank)  knew it was one of the quick guys)  so i rallyed in feeling good, came across the line knowing i had done what i could.  then my pops started spewing about screwed up times, luckily it was just a little confusion and everything was straight.  the rest was nonsense but when i was, and am, on my bike it is all perfect and serene like a jolly joy bubble that nobody can pop.  so will just be milking a beat down hand, from a bail in practice, for a couple days and hope to be back on it soon.

1.26.06

too legit to quit!  just got finished reading the new Clay Porter interview on Descent World.  Gets me thinking as i am shifting more and more time to riding each day (including a fickle hill ascent this morning before work) how attainable mtb film fame could be for us at Fox Horn Productions.  Clay says he gets more kick out of filming then out of riding, and i guess for me it just isn't that way yet.  Really I am just too competitive and get to worked up watching others shred, find myself dropping the camera more and more.  Perhaps when i retire, if that ever happens, i can make the MTB documentary of my dreams, but until then I have been fantasizing about being a professional athlete for much longer, so i will stick with that.  Of course media skills will play an important part of pleasing the sponsors so the two will have to go hand in hand.  It is solidified that Azonic is coming up for me this season, the best deal of my riding career (outside of revo of course) has appeared out of thin air and i am pumped.  Not so much at what it means for this year, but the doors that will be opening if I stick in the game for another couple years, especially if this trend of getting stronger and smarter keeps up.  Thinking back on highschool I was sure that 19 would be my peak, now looking ahead at many years of improvement in the cycling world has me excited, scared, and a little confused.  Just gotta keep believing and keep the weasel in away from all those potential mamas and everything should be rad.  Looks like it will be a slop out this weekend, but there has been quite a bit o' hype so i am pumped.  Just hoping that it all flows smoothly without me having to trip too hard.

1.25.06

let us be thankful for the last two summer days here in humboldt.  went with no shirt for both, it was grand.  played some bball yesterday and found the old stroke again.  now today the rain returns to soften things up for this weekend and i nurse my head from the damages of last night.  call me a sell out, but isn't that the dream.  you will notice that i added a some sponsor links to the pirate home.  don't get confused now, i have shifted to a bit of selfish support.  they aren't all contributing directly to pirate but they are contributing to me.  going to have to use the powers of the page to self promote a bit this year and gain some ground with the companies that might just make riding in pro a reality for me.  they have all come up big recently out of nowhere and i just want to express my thanks and do my job as promoter the best i can.  hope this doesn't ruffle any feathers but i am giddy with excitement about having some new kit this season and hope the death threats can be kept to a minimum.

1.24.06

gave yoga a try yesterday.  kicked my ass!  holy shit are those instructors drill sergeants from another planet.  pretty humbling though which is good.  plus rode into eureka for it, rode the pump track, played trollo (more later), and biked home.  think i will just chill around town today, spend sometime with the roommate and company before the end of the world.  got a long list of things to do today though so got to go.

1.21.06

eight runs today in hoopa.  the trail workers (jake t, jason d, jason r, christina r, rob r, and myself) did an excellent job of blazing the thing in deep.  looking forward to next week, were blessed with sun today.  hope it holds, and kinda hope it doesn't.  think i stand to do well if it is horrendously nasty.  either way it is gonna be a controlled free fall.

1.20.06

strep twas not, just the accumulation of too little sleep and too much stress.  still don't know if we are gonna have to migrate, and the days are ticking.  basically planning on it at this point.  feeling much better though.  snapped my head out of a dive that bit of sickness did.  sometimes to feel good again you have to feel bad.  now back on track, fresh oil in the 40 ozer, and an inch less travel.  headed to hooha tomorrow to see how it handles with a lower c. of g. and some fresh swamp things underneath.  things are really starting to come together for this next season.  looks like i will have more support then i dreamt possible.  i commented to my friend last night, and he agreed, that it can be scary when dreams start to bleed into reality.  frightening and exhilirating all together.  just gotta shrug off any pressure and go with it.

1.19.06

strep throat?  oh shit.  gotta go sit on something soft and forget the talk.

1.18.06

don't know what's got my head more fuzzed, the layover from five elephant pints at the pub last night or the eviciton notice i found in our mailbox today.  suddenly the next few months are a big giant question mark.

1.17.06

god still typing the 05 thing, badbadbad.  pouring in arcata today but got a good workout the last two so i am content, fairly.  except that i keep waking up on the wrong side of the mattress, giving it a few more days before i try anything drastic though.  yesterday celebrated the holiday with the rhalls.  went to hoopa and broke in robbies new wrist.  he is coming back fast and we are going to have him ready to kick some serious j ex tail this summer.  we rode a bit, i was still feeling out of it from the party, but after an hour and a half of serious work with a hand saw i had sweated out all the toxins and was good to go.  so the last run was the best.  really looking forward to more shredding out there.  gotta put on some swampthings though cause my rear was no where it needed to be yesterday.  hoopa doesn't get to slimy but the minion r. was packing and gave no predictability except unpreditabiliy.  going to ber a guessing game come race day i think as far as rubbers are concerned.  researching new local artists today for use in the upcoming film projects.  gotta keep it low key and ligit cause i ain't got the funds to buy no rights.  emmm could go on but i am in the shop on a day off and need to get out and on with it.

1.15.05

what a doosy last night was.  was tentatively planning to go on a ride with the hard core roadies this morning until my roommate called and convinced to come out to the party.  was an old acquantances 21st so how could i say no, plus i really wanted to get shit faced.  that we did killing a handle of corwn royal and a fifth of wild turkey amongst out group as well as countless beers.  was a damn good time but damn was i sore this afternoon.  actually did get up and ride cause it was just too beautiful not to.  was still loaded when i took off and could barely keep mysellf upright.  just cruised out west end to blue town, was nice.  was glad i didn't go with the boys cause my form on the road bike is lacking right now.  made a stop at the storage unit to jam a wee bit on the skins, recorded some beats i hope to use as i strive to produce some tracks for the next GP movie.  figure i could save a lot of time and ass kissing doing it that way.  i can play enough instruments and have the techno savy to make it happen.  then made it home, showered and barely got to the shop as i was running on empty.  felt sore all day, but my mates were worse off.  now i gotta run home to connect with the tenderness i tasted last night.  unfortunately it ended prematurely as my shit faced bro tackled here and put a nasty bump on her head.  among other shit faced attacks and flying pool balls it was a wild one.

1.13.05
friday the 13th, not so bad, only the most boring day in shop this winter...  but the end was fine, in a better mood then last night, can see light again.  all about good company, jo and james can take my mind off just about anything.  plus some beers and the days dragging is far behind.  might actually go out and socialize tonight.  not eating much as i expected but the beer will sooth that.  looking forward to riding with all of you on the 29th, yeah!

1.12.06

new flyer is up and i am so impressed with the work of shanni snyder our in house artist.  mixed feelings about the rest of the series, excited about riding in hoopa again cause i think the terrain suits me more then the first two high speed courses but i am growing more and more burnt with the local scene.  just growing tired of the same rivalries and the talk.  with the excpetions of a few i don't feel that the riders around me are sending the energy i need.  so i will look elsewhere but i can already predict the lonely detachment of rerooting in some place without a long list of digits, though lonely detachment is more often then not my m.o.  undertook a wager this week with my roommate that may have me on the grumpy side for a bit.  eighty dollars says i can go a month, i know we both can but the first week is always hard.  i hope that the break will help me get prepared physically for the upcoming races, but mostly mentally i want to get back to a more care free enbjoyable place.  pirate rolls on, mostly working on video this winter rather then promotion.  should be seeing an SWD promo coming out soon featuring B Rad, Hanky, and Robbie Rhall.  Other then that just forging ahead, enjoying everything i can day to day and dreaming of spring, sea otter and pinning it.

1.7.06
just noticed i typed 05 on the last entry, habits are hard to kick.  amazing what having no internet access at home is doing to me.  obviously pirate dh isn't all that it could be as my entry into the 06 season is not.  haven't contacted a single sponsor when i should be beating down doors.  but these are concious decisions and i accept the detachment.  better things to come.

1.6.05

been feeling sick since i left work tuesday, wasted my only day off this week.  so taking it very easy to let my body recover from the holiday abuse.  bought a bunch of vegetables plus no alcohol or coffee.  surprised how easy the desire for the jitter bean fades when the body is wiped, other desires don't fade as easily unfortunately.  so just taking it real easy this week, editing and watching tube.  shop is boring today, only redeeming part is that i am now taking over inventory duties as i have a quick repor with the computer program, so that gives me purpose and fresh challenges here.  otherwise continuing to sort through my shit and lighten the cargo bays to aid take off come spring.

1.2.05
happy new year.  u had an awesome time saturday night.  a couple days before had a stupid shot session at the house, i mean ridiculous.  can't even go into the details but ended up breaking some vows and getting myself into something that may turn into shit.  lots of fun though.  just a wild winter as always.  head is long gone, due to return from the dark side of the moon in a month or two.  been hanging with people for a change, visiting people for a change, and trying to enjoy myself.  the family wasn't fun but hopefully as this warm fuzzy crap fades so will their needs.  the power was out all new years eve and night.  after a party at the shop in the morn went home, got faded, rocked out with the crew on djembe kazoo and harp.  then when the time came we took that trip.  only problem was that bryce and i had followers as always, bunch of kids with no plans but to follow our parade.  so we managed each to get out alone time and ejjoyed the dark apocalyptic setting.  truly manifested events that night, very crazy and very soothing.  spent yesterday sitting, drinking wine, and rolling l's.  was nice.  now back at work with early release on the horizon.  might be able to tell the story some day but for now i leave it in vague code.

12.24.05

i am back, am here, not broken off, just broken up about having to deal with the holidahs.  bleh.  anyway a day and we'll be back to the riding religion and forget the rest.  want to tell you all about the chinese dh but time this eve is running short and i have many words to type.  so for now i must let the pictures and the hear tell stories speak for themselves.  i will just say that yes there was a boulder involved, jake todd is a cyborg bullit train, my elbow is infact not broken and this makes me happy.

12.17.05

first i want to apologize for the fall offs in updates.  the site slips away easily and while i take great pride and joy in connecting with all of you and providing news and media the role alos becomes a burden, and a position that i sometimes resent.  i have had a tendency to fall into depression and strange seclusion during winter and this year seems no different.  lately i have been obsessing on the urge to move on and the resentment of expectations, both those i hold for myself and those that others cultivate.  pirate is beautiful, it is holy, i believe in it.  but i am not currently in the best environment for it to thrive.  my home situation and work atmosphere i feel are holding me back.  neither one is turning out to be where i want to be.  that's just kind of my way though, like to move on a lot.  if i seem a little ditached to the pirate plans don't take it personal, i am just preparing for departure and want others to see how easily the tradition can continue without my schemes.  when i began lighting up the pirate stuff i wanted a riding focus to keep me and my mates charged up and competitive.  now my desire is for more isolated shredding with new faces.  want to go to a new scene where i can be undercover and where there are no expectations or interferances.  it may just be the time of year or the dazed paranoia of my mind but i see other people as distractions and obstacles rather then as assistance.  i think that my head has just drifted into dangerous territory but those i have contact with daily are simply becoming anchors that are twisting and contorting my resolve.  in the end no one holds the blame but me, i usually can't see that though until things get really bad.  didn't really even want to go out to the race this weekend, knew i couldn't flake like that but just tired of making the calls and being answer guy.  just want to shred with and against myself cause i am feeling some serious progression coming from me vs. me this season.

12505
did the happy dance this saturday.  went out and raced cyclocross.  last year i was all about training for the cyclo series and wanted to kick some butt.  then local interest wained and so did i.  but this weekend was proof that despite my attempts to kill my endurance i still have a little.  at least i've got a half hour anaerobic burn in me which was satisfying to confirm.  went out on my single speed dirt jumper with just a rear v brake and rigid fork hoping to hammer my way to a good finish.  right off the bat i was loving it.  the bike is small so i stood probably eighty percent of the race, a feet on the slippery climbs, this made me happy because i hate to sit while riding, it sucks.  plus i was just feeling the course, a lot of very slippery and mucky off camber coners, was so cool!  props to course designers tom phillips and justin brown.  so i knew this would serve my jones for drifting.  while others seemed to be fighting the slippery factor i was loving it and this helped conserve energy.  was just picturing greg minaar in his first world cup win (super mud fest) and just pinned it as much as my panting body could on all the downhills.  the mud provided enough resistance i pretty much didn't touch my brakes either which was good practice.  started slow, finished at the same pace, but by the end it was fast.  my laps were as fast as anybody all day, just pretty sure i couldn't have kept it up for an hour.  so i won the half hour my a lot and then filmed the hour, getting some interviews and background footage for a piece on the tour of the unknown coast this year.  should have some footy at revo this week, stop by to see the slow speed suffering.

12205

ok, so about that premiere anyway.  what can i type?  it was incredible.  for me it was the culmination of so much i stumble to think about it.  from the time i began riding in junior high making a biking film was always on my mind.  we would shoot silly stunts and shred sessions in the hopes of tying it together, but the footage was just too uninspiring and we were progressing too fast for editing time to be worth it.  fast forward seven years it has been realized to a scale that i would have never imagined my first sincere attempt reaching.  sadly none of my orignial junior high crew are in it, but to get to present even short bits of my mentors to the big screen is a rare honor.  the project began so haphazardly, my only point of centralization was the motivation to bring the spotlight to my contemporaries.  i feel that the people i know put in enough passion to be treated and filmed as professionals, so this is how i pursued it.  finally this year the bits laid into place.  i moved in with filming partner iris, and thus had all our previous footage at my fingertips to simply steal and start editing.  this spurred the project as i pushed on and demanded for material.  therefore we went and pursued and not long there after i obtained my first video camera, something i had been pursuing for a long long time.  This pushed things even farther and faster as years of pent up energy and desire burst forth.  began to sleep less and less, began to edit more and more, began to plan far in advance.  now the project is well on its way and i am completely pumped at the response we have received.  This only makes me more excited to pursue the completion of my vision of a gravity pirates materpiece, a racing documentary capturing the heart, desire, and commitment that this biking community has.  leading up to that we are introducing GP2 near spring time which will give viewers an intimate look at our top areas top riders and their styles and philosophies.  the trilogy will then conclude in GP3 where the entire 2005-06 pirate season will be played through, showing the drama and excitement of the pirate series.
i suppose i should have given a report of the premiere?  lots of people, and the best crowd in the universe to see it with, the stars, their friends and family, a theater full of people who were open and attentive, a blessed and wonderful thing.  i am very grateful for the showing capabilities of our kate buchanan room, the presentation was far beyond any expectations i had.  i nearly cried when i saw how it would look in testing, and i nearly did again as the film concluded and the trailer hit, simply a successful presentation to the t built by constant attention, and fore thought.
stoked...  you can pick up updated DVD's of Gravity Pirates Beginnings, complete with bonus features including the GP2 teaser at Revolution Bicycles.

11.30.05

a little retro active graves log today.  just wrapped some phat postings, think you will all enjoy the photos and more sweet video soon, as well as words on the sweet premiere.  but this wet night i lay down my demise at star's to ease my torment.  it took me a day  of meditation on the wipe out to fully put myself back in the moment and trace the decisions that i had made to get there.  indeed i had been near overconfident coming into the event and was only more so after the seeding run.  had put too much effort into pimping the rig and looking flash, always a bad sign i think.  any how was sitting during round one watching as i had a by, getting anxious and pumped to step up the pace.  see chad pull a sick manual between the first and second rollers and everybody goes nuts.  this is where my game plan fell as did my sense.  vanity and such claimed me as i set to thinking about duplicating his move.  when a couple of lazy attempts found that it was not for me i moved on into my first heat with happy.  knew i wasn't going to bust the chad manual but i didn't want to look like a tart just boofing off the things so as i sprinted off the lione shifting ragedly, cleared the first roller, and approached the second in the lead, i was pushing myself to pick up as early as possible so as to show the crowd a descent pre manual.  this i did, but it was not the way i had been practicing at speed, i had not set a plan, just kind of wung it.  so as i set my front tire down stylishly on the backside by weight was still too far back and the rear wheel to sucked up to me as the tire topped the tall lip.  ejection.  didn't stick to practice plan, let envy and self conciousness in, tried to imress, paid the price.

11.29.05

jammin like mad today to get everything in dope alignment for the premiere tonight.  can't say more now.  come and check it, call your attendance my holiday gift, that's all i really want.

11.27.05

blew it this weekend, missed my chance to own the pirate points for a while.  got some headwork to do.  on track.  i'll delve into that more later.  for now enjoy these, inspiration comes from strange places sometimes. don't ask

11.22.05
Ride Files 01 _ unloaded some stills off the vid cam. check

11.19.05

strange vibes in the air today.  people are lost, people are rude, people are strangely self absorbed.  maybe it was just arcata, but i got a feeling it is something bigger, maybe just some winter cabin fever, but it seems early for that...  held down the shop solo this afternoon, in hopes of trading out tomorrow.  a bit fried right now after many wierd and taxing customer relations today.  my last visit  was from a methed up forty somethin mill worker wearing a green wig, showing me his new kmart boots, and talking all kinds of shit about the packers.  thought i might have to jmp him at first but he turned out to be a good ol boy.  still was happy to see him on his way.  on top of that, how do you wake up a kid who has potential to rule anything he wants but can't seem to break out of the whooping boy roll?  how do you give someone goals to be passionate about?  how do you make him believe in the possibilty of the impossible and the flexibility of time?  how do i break through the customer barrier to meet something i know is there?  how do i advance from looks smiles and pheremons to practice?  these things rush through my schemes as i listen to a segment of Inertia for the fifth time tonight cause the song is so tight.  how do i include everyone and motivate them while still brining my dreams to reality.  the last is last, the second is foremost, just gotta be of one mind and right now i am of many.  only thing that is clear is stomping at star's.  but many leaps between now and then.

11.17.05

celebrate good times come on!  sorry, but i just deposited a paycheck today which ends my almost two weeks without money, eating ramon i bought with tips and basically scrounging tips for food.  all good though, now i have a little scrilla to pay the debts that i can't pay and try to replace the rear shock i blew on my bullit yesterday.  yeah, yesterday was freakin awesome.  aside from blowing the shock on my mtx rig a week before the ride all was killer.  set the whole day aside to film and shred.  went with hank, brian, john, and bryce up to the kneeland hip to get some good shots.  everybody was a little wary when we showed up, but that soon wore off as the gang went huge!  hank pulled a stupid step down out of nowhere and john checked into the stratosphere, it was sweet!  then we moved onto the lost trail and hit that way hard for a while.  got lots of sick footy as we all pushed until the tires broke loose, and whiped until we couldn't anymore.  then it was onto hapgoods yard where we caught up with the 20 inch mafia, and shredded for for a bit.  the bar was raised when hank and john decided to drop off happy's roof into a small table top landing.  that was sick.  all all in all we got just what we needed to beef up the teaser for GP2 that will premiere tuesday Nov 29th at HSU's kate buchanan room.  the footy looks great and peeeps are getting motivated to throwdown.  john was so stoked he skipped class, i hope i don't contribute to that on a regular basis, but i think you all know where myu priorities are right now.  it was a good day, left my legs empty, and left me pretty damn motivated, but also left me reviewing my training ways.  i am a super secret training, solo shredding, keep it undercover rider.  this last month i have ridden with john more then i think i ever have consecutively, just edging him at la grange was the booster i needed to feel ok associating wid him.  but i still get caught up in the competitive scheming.  i know that for me to progress i gotta hang with agro crazys like john, and it is helping.  but i also know that john hanging around me and seeing my pace gets him motivated and opens his eyes to things.  i am so cautious about helping out the competition that i almost want to stop riding with him, or at least not contribute to his desire to ride in order to better my chances.  this is a catch 22 if you think about it.  kinda gotta let go of the local legend thing in order to step up to something bigger.  he feels it, i feel it, now i just gotta chill out and try to keep up.

11.13.05

stir crazy, cabin fever, ants in the pants!  a rainy sunday and the shop is dead.  have cleaned and tidied way too many times.  cleaned up the faith and shaved .7 pounds this morning.  hope my chain stays on though.  outside the mist falls with the monotonous repetition that only a humbold winter can provide.  tonight i will complete the final segement for GP B and incorporate that.  Hope to be burning DVDs soon, the last segement was a last minute decision

11.11.05

last night was a very productive dig sess in mac town.  jared, jhon, and ryan went out at dusk sessiones for a bit and then put their shovels to the earth.  me and jed showed up closer to seven, headlamps on and took over for a bit.  soon some huge mounds had appeared out of nowhere, and we even undid some unsightly damage that some green diggers did.  yeah, the guys were hilarious, and we got a lot done.  think there will be many more to come and the trails will be blowing up.  lost the train of thought now, so just check out the album and be happy.

11.9.05

yesterday was a good sunday for me, at least myt sunday, then end of my weekend.  woke up, lazed on the porch as the sun rose into the clear sky.  had a guest over and watched "what the *#%! do we know"  a film all about the magic of quantum physics.  really faith building material.  then went out to practice the magic in the slippery woods.  me john and chris mackleburg shredded the community forest for a bit, then caught up with robbie rhall at revo and did an evening couch run.  really ripped some sections, was good.  when you focus on the ride to the exclusion of all else magic really does happen, we become capable of reworking the laws of physics to our advantage, make the impossible possible, this is the ultimate.  now back in the shop on the clock, wishing i had more material to throw up for y'all.  but my camera man from los muertos is flaking, i am broke and can't develop his film for him, mad shirts and hats waiting for me to swoop up, but pirate is in the red.  gonna have to give the businiess a loan and hope i can sell some gear.  looking forward to stars and the premiere.  captured more for the GP 2 teaser last night, gonna be sick.  i know everybody says it, but we are taking it to another level, at least for us.

11.5.05

shop sittin.  saturday, monsoon in the temperate rain forest.  precipitation continues as the calenday new year draws ever closer.  reflected today on events nearly a year ago...  shit.  just working now, planning to take up night digging very soon.  will charge my light tonight and march tomorrow.  yesterday was dull except for a spontaneous skid session with bonjovi after work.  was sick, we raced in a super tight figure eight for a good ten minutes, good work out, good practice.  then some tire slides, which soon evolved into tire slide to fakie attempts.  john had a front brake and whiped out a sick tire slide to nose whellie 180 to roll back to reuturn, or whatever.  got a dvd menu made up last night, but found when i went to burn that the stack of 100 DVD r' that I have to burn are the wrong type for video burning.  So now I gotta sit on it until I get some money to get it rolling.  So, i'l tell you about it later.

11.3.05

well yesterday was a good day for riding, a bad one for responsible obligations.  Awoke at six o clock, after a very late night editing to ride with jed's visiting bud taylor down the couch trail.  talking about it the night before was awesome, the waking up however was not so savory.  but we made it up the hill as the sun rose and dealt with the frigid air as our muscles attempted to warm.  really fun 30 minute session on the lost trail in wet conditions.  the trail hooks all the time and has weathered now to a point of eternal perfection.  the guys who built it knew what they were doing.  then we charged the couch, finding it surprisingly brush free, finding a secret 50 track, and having a good wet time.  back to town by nine thirty, recharged, exported video, rode to happy's.  the innovation at hapgoods house is blow mind, so creative, so sweet, and literally getting better by the minute as rain packs and smooths the track. (also i think brian spends an average of thirty minutes per hour of each day out there.  shot footy for GP2, was good, some great silhouettes as the 20 inch mofia shredded into the night and the halogen stadium lamps lit up.  also got the exclusive ricky fantastic man interview to be seen in GP2.  You'll see, you'll like.  Then back home to work further on video.  as of this morning got the prelim copy printed to VHS, DVD coming soon.  still a bit of polishing, but the prelim is previewing with the bigfoot bicycle club at their annual meeting tonight.  i was too nervous to attend, still some changes to make and...  well you'll see.  now doing laundry, and hopefully all my rain gear from these mud rides that have suddenly become very popular.  ps.  my host tells me it is critical that i remove some of my excessive files.

10.31.05

Well here it is, the biased, graves log race report.  Remember if you don’t want to hear it one sided then don’t read this.  So the Tangle came yesterday and boy was I pumped, I mean I had been looking forward to it ever since I got spanked there two years ago, but I wasn’t stressing it like I have races in the past.  I did got out and do several practice days but wasn’t obsessing on it daily, which was great, have learned that that doesn’t really help.  Plus there was LaGrange thrown into the mix to take some of the importance off so I was just like another weekend ride.  This was the first race in sometime, with the exception of Lagrange (sort of) that I haven’t focused everything on the result and gone straight edge for a period before.  I have realized that what is more important then the lifestyle one carries, is the conviction with which one carries out that lifestyle.  One must do anything in their life with a whole heart and without doubt.  I have been given up to self loathing and debasing thoughts in the past.  This weekend I got over it, realized that one race wasn’t my final chance for salvation, and that most important was just keeping my routine consistent, and to have confidence  in my approach, my abilities, and my bike.  So I showed up very relaxed, knowing that I couldn’t force myself to go faster then I could go, but if I wanted to I would go as fast as I could.  That too has changed for me lately, the mental approach to a course.  First not being overly technical with sections, not getting held up mentally if a section in the race doesn’t go exactly as planned, simply carrying speed is more important.  Along with that comes confidence and the shere will to hang onto the bike and the trail at all costs.  To shut out all assessments and reports until the end, and just focus on hitting each corner as hard as you can.  And the big one that ties in with both of those is skidding!  For so long now my idea of a perfect run was feet up, no unclippings, and no skids!  That meant cornering smooth, but slow, and pedaling like a hammer out of the corners, not to mention braking way too early.  So my secret…  I have been practicing skidding, drifting, getting loose, coming into unknown sections hot and dealing with it, in short getting ragged.  Riding as loose as a wild turkey.  This is good as long as you can hang onto the will to move on down the trail, which I have lost in the past due to line anality.  There are a lot of other things that have opened my eyes lately, like body position, bike set up, and trail vision.  But the combo is me feeling faster then ever in corners without being in the very good sprinting shape , the next step would be to combine the two and then you have pro pace.  The other big deal I wanted to unveil was my finger nails.  This goes back to my days as a competitive basketball player.  Toward the end of highschool I was becoming a real shooting threat, having won a three point shooting contest and other in game accolades.  I found that cutting my fingernails too soon before a game compromised my feel for the ball, as I was not accustomed to the feel of my hands, it was a distraction, not to mention the tendency for flesh to get torn back from the nail.  So even if they was way too long (like today) I would leave it till after the game until I trimmed them, wouldn’t cut them later then three days before a match.  I just think it is funny that I still hold this practice.  Probably not as crucial as a point guards shooting touch, but bar feel is key.  So I keep my nails at comfort length, whatever that may be, so as not to shock myself on the trail.  I don’t expect that that tip will win any world championships, and I hope I don’t get teased about it, I just thought you would find it interesting.  I also have to cop to tactics this weekend.  I did have about a 5 second get off in run one.  After that trot off the bike was run was ripping, but I didn’t expect to be in the hot seat.  So when I realized how fast my pace was that day I had to keeps the cards tight.  Obviously that gave some confidence in run two, that I could keep it consistent, clean that one corner, and have it.  It was all good, a little conservative to the corner I had blown before, made it, and then just opened it up.  Was a little sloppier through some places, scared myself to the point I would have popped two years ago, but my focus was solid that day. And when I survived the last couple of corners (the ones you always think will strike you down after a killer run) I was elated, accomplishing my goal of hitting some sections faster then I had hit them before, something else I used to rule out as a race run possibility for myself.  Now I just have to deal with the target I have shouldered,, find out how to write non self serving race reports, and look forward to cranking like a mad man at the So Hum Shootout.

10.29.05

well tomorrow is ride 1!  big crew just rolled out today from revo; happy, newkirk with his gravity motorless cycle, matt nas of swd, and more.  should be fun.  anticipating some high speed spray, fenders might be good.  hope all flows well, been a little caught up in cranking out the video and sight updates to think much about it.  that's good i guess, gotta figure out how i am getting out there today and a whole lot of other shiza.  see you at te tangle.

10.25.05

just concluded my long over due interview with mr. brown regarding the revolution.  keep your eyes on the humboldt advocate for that piece next week, should be cool.  forgot last night to send a shout out to mr. matt snyder, was feeling the flow this weekend in the corners as i said and much of that is thanks to his tutilage last year, opened my eyes to a lot of things, and as i further progress i realize what an advanced rider he really is.  in outside news i look out the window and see rain, rain, rain.  means it is pirate season.  tangle should be sweet this weekend, going to be fast and perhgaps a little sloppy.  hope the buzz i have been hearing is representative of the potential turnout, think this year will be of the hizook.  so as of next week the sun sets way early so bust out those headlamps and let's do some night rides, i want to charge so come bug me and let's do it up.  what's hot:  ground hugging bikes, drifting, and moto helmets.  what's not:  poor sportsman ship, two faced double talk, bunk timing.  plan to keep those straight this pirate season, ho ho ho and stay jolly.

10.24.05

oh my god, a quite surreal night it has become.  locked up in the shop with a couple of insane bmx groms, juniors to be exact.  trying to build their new exciting frames.  what they thought would be a quick assembly turned into the mandatory three to four hour dial in period.  so it is now a quarter to ten and i have been in the shop for thirteen hours +...  ahh the saga has ended, they have headed home.  couldn't say no, was flashing back to the nights of overtime that sean t and mr. brown logged helping me race prep my bikes and build em, was a very special booster for me and to be able to pass that on along with a little bit of understanding is a wonderful thing.  though i missed my post work ride i am happy with the way it played out.  this last weekend was the lagrange fall classic, it went well.  i opted out of the xc realizing that i was no where near the fitness i wanted.  so saved my legs for the super d on saturday afternoon.  went out hard on the lightened up bullit, but unfortunately the course was four fifths xc and i couldn't hang with the trek xc pro that beat me.  absolutely shredded the dh section but could not keep up the twenty plus minutes of pedaling to win, second overall.  then sunday was the real show, dh.  was an interesting trip, in that i traveled and hoteled with my closest competition; joh bonham and jared delong.  didn't have the numerous practice runs i am used to but was feeling good by second run race morning until i  rear flatted.  got it fixed  front flatted one minute into race run one.  so the pressure was on for run two.  got up and managed to get into my head after the major psyche out and had a ripping run.  hit some sections faster then i had ever hit them, definitely didn't have the fitness i have had in past years but was faster in the corners then i have ever been.  in the end the smooth run turned out to be my fastest ever at lagrange (an 8:04 subtracting the 38 seconds that the organizers watches were offset)  shy of the sub seven i was looking for, but given the dry and rutted conditions plus my recent recovery from sickness not too bad.  we were shown how it should be done by the costa rican national champ who bested me by twenty seconds, very fast!  so for the third year running i was second overall at lazgrange, john bonham in third with an 8:07 (we must have had indentical runs), and jared in fourth with a 8:27.  was good to race again.  looking forward to tish tang, just spun right now, gotta eat and get home.  peace

10.17.05
well the jump jam could not have gone off much better.  i tend to focus on the short comings, but all things aside it was great, the kids got to shred, rider turn out was great, as was the fan section.  the were some notable absences, you know who you are and you know you are now on the white skull hit list, so be good and join us next time or else.  i was just bummed that my camera man/roommate dropped the ball and partyed too hard the night before to make it out.  getting coverage of the event was big to me and having the footage be not all that it could have been bummed me out.  i was stoked to pull a few minor tricks that i had been wanting to try in the pack, but on video review my style was dwarfed a bit more then i would have hoped, meaning i need to start nutting up and throwing down with more confidence.  also of bummer status was a rack i had toward the end of the half hour jam.  just came in stiff, did a not commital bail out, slid into the bank, and whipped my noggin down.  got concused pretty good, watching the tape was surreal cause i had no recollection of laying on the ground as long as i did.  was stoked i managed to shake it off and get through the set a few more times with grace, but did not have my wits about me for the awards ceremony so again it wasn't all it could have been.  also stopped me short of trying a couple bigger tricks i wanted to pull, but there is always next time, right?  overall it was the most killer session i think i have ever had, good vibes, great riders, and killer hospitality.

10.16.05
feeing the most normal i have felt in a week this morning.  the sun has come out to dry our jumps and all seems to be in readiness.  all that is left is to hold down the shop for two hours this morning, tape up the shin, load some schwag, and go shred.  i am pumped, know that we are going to witness some progression with the collection of jumpers on site today and the cheering section that is gonna be in force.  come check it or lose everything.

10.14.05

couldn't wait till later to update.  talked with star faraon last night and secured a mountain cross date for the third weekend of november.  very stoked.  now up on the pirate calendar, november 26th will be the so hum shootout on star's epic biker cross course.  got a very sore ankle from a shinner last week at jared's, did a bunny hop on the way to work this morning and it is still hurting.  don't think it will get better before this weekend, have to try ice or something.

10.13.05

been under the weather for almost a week now.  got knocked down the day after the jareds jump session pictures up now.  rode so hard and long i bonked and think my immunity did too.  so yesterday i went back out to tish tach with b rad and sweated the last of the flu out.  today feeling the ending effects but on my way to mobbing again.  think i will be ready come sunday which was seeming impossible two days ago.  but got to watch some movies and eat some food, was cool.  just hope the rumors of rain i heard are wrong.  just dropped a stiffy spring in my dj fork and think that will mack me very happy, like viagra for the jumper, just sends you up up up.  if you asked me tonight i honestly don't know, not whats next, not where my wallet is, not why pirate dh, not when it will stop, and definitely not where i am headed.  try me tomorrow...

10.08.05

today was a successful day in the shop, didn't feel as bad as i thought i might but felt worse then i wanted to.  glad to be sitting now, mind off riding and other amibitions for a time and just taking er easy.  sometimes ailments are blessings, really needed to chill, and wouldn't have done so unless it was forced.  i just get so obsesive that i can't stop hammering away at the things on my mind, even at the expense of my health.  last night was all prepped to go home and go straight to bed after updates but was greeted by a house full of drugged up kids enjoying themselves.  i was of course greeted with hugs and rubs by the good feeling ones, but was a little disturbed to find that my roommate had gotten up and took off, leaving the party behind.  so i did some favors and hung out a bit, watched some glass break and some other nonsense until the cab showed up and then went to bed.  woke up with half the posse on sleeping on the floor and the house a bit worse for wear.  i am pretty easy going, but at some point somethings gotta give, if roomy doesn't start putting in some effort to keep house i am going to be upset.  but that is minor as things go, feeling ill is of more concern, so we will knock that out and move on.

10.07.05

ahh, down time.  sometimes there is simply no option.  tonight i feel sickness creeping.  it wasn't until co-worker james pronounced his cold and started coughing everywhere that i felt it.  now i am not sure.  so to cure the constant shredding and under eating of the last couple of days i have stuffed myself tonight while washing laundry and web working, and plan to hit the hay relatively early.  my weekend this week could not have been better for riding.  wednesday went to tish tang with joel and brian.  got a bunch o runs and found some new drift and new lines.  really looking forward to the los muertos, no matter who you are everyone goes faster then they plan there.  then yesterday had an epic jump session at jareds.  i got the bitch run award for sixing the eight pack like twenty times before boosting the last double.  peaky downhill dubs were making me cautios but once i stopped doubting it was great.  as much loft as you want and definitely time to throw limbs around as john bonjovi demonstrated.  the light was here and there but we got some good pics to get everybody stoked, check out Fresh Media. My first picture looks like i am about to pull a superman, here's a secret though.  the dog had just run in front of me, i ran over its foot and bailed = nuts to seat, ouch.  was a good time.  just worked today, sore muscles and no reserves.  so gotta rest and pop some vitamins tonight to come back strong.  i have just been stressing over every detail lately; pre racing every pirate event in my head, killing myself over dirt jumps, beating myself up about money, videos, house cleaning, etc.  you name it and i have griefed myself about it.  need to chill, hope it was just the bugs in the system.  we'll see.  seeing the sight doing well is great though, guess i am just putting a lot of pressure on myself to legitimize my web stature with my riding, can't go on like this forever, putting myself out there day in and out, gonna have to pass the torch soon.

10.04.05

whoa! 204 visits today, that is a record.  and over a hundred votes on the photo finals already!  money talks ehh?  just finished polishing up te faith for dh runs at tish tang tomorrow, so much to do and so little time, wish i didn't have to sleep but then i would be to insane to ride well.  so i promise more updates soon and a fresh pirate trailer on the way leading up to the video release in november.  thanks for tuning in and stay with us it is only getting better

10.02.05

just hoped off the bus after an eight hour trip home.  will explain the hang up later, too spun right now.  cracked down and got the final photo round up so check and and revile in your power to rock the vote.  can't stop shouting "team america, fuck yeah!  we here to save the mother fucking day yeah!"  so maybe tomorrow i can tell you all about the wonders interbike, the dry dry desert, and the perils and pleasures of air travel.  stay tuned, tank you.

9/18/05

to be concise, kinda slumpin at the moment.  had an absolutely amazing night last night; danced and smooched and sang.  spent it with extraordinary people who lifted my spirit to incredible heights.  then today i am trapped dealing with absolute degenerates one after the other, having to hold my tongue and decipher pointless jibber one after the next.  pretty much over it at this point.  definitely on the gravy train but starting to plan the next chapter now.  after pirate season 06 it will be time to lift off.  my plans for the evening were resting on drunken plans from last night, and to now surprise my friend flaked.  and after staying late to clean up i am not feeling like braving the frigid humboldt air to bike to my drum set as i had hoped to do.  so i think i will go home and edit video, at least a minor feeling of accomplishments, find what ever schwag i can around the house to get me going and try to forget what sorry souls there are in this world.  one exception, met paul demark this morning and that was awesome.

9/17/05

well it happened this eve.  after a cool night last night visiting with a gal and her pal from australia i was very renewed, and today have had hers on my mind and now give up a dig session tonight on the odd chance of party hopping with her.  let's hope it is fun and rewarding, though from experience it only leads to emo'esque contemplation and turmoil.  can't have the sweet without the sour.

9/16/05

yesterday was another day of unexpected progression.  my morning stretched on beyond whatr i had planned, partly to blame was the grey sky that bundled me in my abode.  sharing in this fault was a call from a sweet little bird that wanted to spend time with me over a hot meal, and to boot my long anticipated camera arrived minutes before she did.  this all sent me into a tisy that has not yet worn off.  so after i wrapped up the meal and the camera i biked to an unnamed mates house in mckinleyville.  jon bonjovi was there and the digging had begun.  an unbelievable amount of dirt was moved (thanks to pristine soil and inspired laborers) resulting in a transformation from pinner tables under six feet of grass to groomed lips towering six feet above it all.  the trulky amazing part was that following the transformation the soil had packed enough to allow our whooped asses to ride it.  quite honestly the most kick jumps i have hit in days.  requiring one to spot the landing while floating about ten feet above the lowest point below, exhilirating.  felt quite good after flowing the fresh eight pack a few times, quite good.  today back at work, webbing it, hammering out camera issues, planning the next film project, trying to conive a trip to vegas etc.  whoo

9/14/05

today was a good day of riding.  some days i feel like i have the best crew in the world to ride with, chill and unassuming.  some days i feel like i have the worst crew to ride with, chill and unassuming.  but today i rode alone and with new people and it was good.  first thing in the morn i hit the couch with nigel the xc maniac.  really got some flow on the top section letting the faith do its thing, and was pretty impressed with nigels ability to keep up.  i had to b put myu mind to it to drop him and i kept coming back to the seat which jutted a foot out of his frame.  pushed the big bike out at a pretty good clip and cruised back into town to refuel.  sat at home for a bit, took care of a little business and decided i needed to hit it again.  so i got loaded and headed into the forest, pedaled the single speed up to the top and sessioned the upper section of the jump trail.  first just finding speed.  then i saw a line i had never attempted before and decided to give it a go for entertainments sake.  the first double is all that remains, a 8-10 footer out of a smooth left hand berm.  after the double you can flow straight through, but there is also a sharp left hand turn where riders used to bypass the large log drop.  now that the log drop is gone there is no need for it but i was intrigued by the technical challenge that it presented.  so the goal was to clear the first double and then make the left hand turn and carry it through... sounds easy, not quite.  the double gives you speed regardless of how slow you come in, and the turn is a 90 degree left about 8 feet from where you are landing.  the corner is flat and off camberish, totally dry, smooth hard pack, and the line is narrow thanks to a dirt jump ditch dug on the outside of the lane.  so to make the corner you have to somehow pitch the bike sideways without dropping the wheel into the hole, and manage to carry speed through this flat lane that is only a foot and a half wide.  to boot i am running slick tires and only a rear brake, so basically slowing down for it is not an option.  plus after the apex of the turn the trail goes up slightly and s's between two pieces of a downedlog, not really any room to pedal, and i couldn't see holding the speed to crest the rise.  my first attempt sent me into a surprisingly smooth sideways drift but couldn't hold it straight so i hopped and bounced off the bike and into the ditch, amazed that i had come as close as i did.  after that i was stoked at the attempt and about ready to pack it in, not believing that it would be possible to make on the bike i was on.  but i gave it a couple more goes, coming in slow, popping high, landing soft, and looking up.  got closer and closer, locking the rear and letting it snap around and then feathering the brake to get traction and continue up the rise.  quickly clued in that i needed to find some outside real estate to set up properly, and did so.  next try i landed way out to the right, tapped the brakes, foot out, no dab, slid it around smooth and controlled, got off the brakes, regained traction, and popped right up and between the logs as my foot came on and i pedaled out.  i cannot explain how pumped i was, but i am sure you all can relate to a moment of progression when the impossible becomes possible.  like putting on a new pair of glasses and seeing the real world for the first time.  i had not even believed that the laws of physics would allow such a move this day, complete skidding and changing direction, i could not belive that anyu forward momentum could be maintained.  but it was.  i hit it three more times, absolutely 'killing the corner' as snyder would say, with a smile on my face that was worth a million bucks. awesome.  then i ripped down home, got some fuel at the gas station food mart, kicked it for an hour and hitched a ride to the bmx track.  now that the moto is gone wednesday is for bmx.  felt good, really getting some pop like i never had.  but i was burnt, not just from all the riding, but burnt.  all is good, but my lungs hurt so i need to address that issue soon.  well if all goes well here the gravity pirates teaser will be up on the web tonight, hope you all enjoy and look for more soon.

9/13/05

today was wacky, woke up and dwindled away the morning editing video segments, mostly the chainless dh from last february.  got that pretty dialed in, then scott mcneil calls me up and we decide that he is going to buy my dirt bike, he's going to be hanging out in the hills and needs a toy.  and i, well, i was loving it, but to push it any farther at this point in time will only take away from the bike and risk my neck.  definitely picked up some skill from it, but i wanted to pass it on before it cost me more money.  broke even so that was cool.  gonna re work my wednesday block to hit the bmx track instead of the moto, that will be good.  just more time on the bike is what it really comes down to.  after closing the deal i rode the mac safeway jumps for an hour, rode back to arcata, banked, and then hit the skatepark till dark.  good cross training, makes wrists strong.  on the side i am happy to anounce that shanni snyder is gonna be producing all the pirate flyers this season.  her work has dazzled the gravity crowd in the past and i am looking forward to what she can throw out this time around.  keep eyes open for muertos dh flyers this month.  basically that's it, living to ride right now and that is good.

9/11/05

funny i haven't heard a single mention of the somber memorial that today marks.  wonderful how hearts, minds, and countries heal.  looked back on the memory for a moment after counting out tonight, and looking at the date for the first time, remember first period that year, very traumatic.  one of those memories that will always be with like the folks talking of the kennedy assasination.  yesterday was a big step somewhere for me, with the help of brother i moved my drum kit to my storage unit in blue lake.  seems like a dramatic solution but a mere five minutes of playing with any concern of upsetting a neighboring party was worth it all.  hadn't touched them for almost two months and that brief release was bitchin.  then came home to work on web after a twilight skate park session.  basically good good, looking forward to pirate season and hoping i can stay sane to contend.

9/10/05

last night was the culmination of my riding recently.  been spending a lot of time in less then ideal circumstances riding bikes, and last night was by far the most intense and exciting bout yet.  a night run down horse mountain.  the very thought of it sent me into contemplative statia on the way up the hill.  at the top it was freezing, with cutting wind buffeting relentlessy.  when we took off headlights were on and the sky was the deepest dark i have seen in some time.  the focus on the way down was awesome, having no choice but to switch into the zone or die.  look forward to more such missions.

9/8/05

news flash...  last night had jump sess with sean t.  thought the world was ending...  today rented a storage unit to house my drums and earthly collections to loosen these ties when the time comes to fly...  got pirate gear jump started, looking forward to embroidered hats this year...  just ordered a new video camera, exicited to the point of sickeness, been anticipating that move for very long time...  should be seeing preview for gravity pirates movie on the web this week, stoked.  stay tuned more excitement soon.  plus new winter schedule posted soon.  first race october 31st, horse linto willow creek, dia de los muertos dh.

9/4/05

september has begun, and so must pirate training.  the dia de los muertos dh will be upon us soon and we must be ready.  trekked to hoppa today in celebration of not having to labor.  got a couple runs in but ironically a carpet tack amongst the sharp and jagged rocks of big hill ended it for us, puncturing a tire and leaving us without a spare.  in the name of being responsible we left early and came back to the coast.  not before i got a bit of flow to leave me stoked.  then i hit the jump trail memorial mess hard for a while, practicing sections and working on letting things break free in a controlled and comfortable manner.  set up some positive plans for the morning and hope to shake this monkey off my back.

8/31/05

been working like a slave though with 103+ hours in the last two weeks.  will be a nice check but would love to have some play time.  went motoing tonight, was great fun except i was with these guys who love to explore so we bush wacked a bit and hit numerous dead ends.  i am the kind of rider who likes doing hot laps in one place for an hour until i can't move and finding any more speed would send me into orbit, the riding blind isn't my cup of tea.  but was fun none the less.  really starting to lean the bike over in the turns and let it drift.  when you can let a 200 pund moto slide predictably between your legs at forty it is a good feeling, hooking turns-both tires sliding-no brakes, love it (feels a lot like surfing).
on a side note this month marks the lowest hit count on piratedh.com in months, this can be explained by my lack of internet at home and not time to didle at work.  been spending more time on the bike, but so the page suffers.  winter should be good to us though, piratedh series schedule soon.
 
8/28/05
well the a town downtown just went down.  curtis twisted the red bull downtown into the "white skull" downtown.  great stuff.  missed a few key faces, you know who you are... but it was freakin awesome.  nine rippers and enough course marshalls to make the thing work, thanks to all the volunteers for their help.  it wasn't lisbon by any means but everyone pinned what was basically a blind course.  found way more speed in some sections on unplanned lines then i thought i would.  off the line i jumped into the front and held it for a minute.  then jed powered up next to me (i'm riding a faith with fox 40's and tiny tires and he is on his haro hardtail)  let him cruise in front and just followed down.  we put a big gap on everyone pretty quick and pretty much pace lined right into the finish, it was sick pinning it through the halls and corridors.  the volunteers came in handy as we did have one run in with a white jeep, thankfully of no consequence.  the field scattered out a bit but everyone made it down and had their own battles to speak of.  i finished right behind jed who claimed first with ripping style, i wasn't counting myself in the money so brian hapgood took second place money, and jason allen took third.  robbie rhall diced in the top three but got passed at the last to take third.  joel was fourth but pinch flatted in the top third on an uphill bunny hop.  met some new faces gave away $90 and some pirate gear, it was fun and so freakin punk that i could hardly stand it.  a beautiful thing, have some pictures soon.

8/20/05
things have been rushing right along after returning from the trip.  with the town population exploding as college is soon to kick back in, the shop has been hoping and it is all we can do to keep up.  on top of that my brother is in town until tuesday so i am making any necessary sacrifices to hang with him while he is here.  after days of sunshine and temps in the 90's all the recent fog is wearing on my will.  regardless we have been charging, a night run down the couch two days ago, a night at the bars last night, three hours in bed, followed by a dawn patrol session at moonstone beach today.  there were almost no waves, knee highs, but just enough to catch a few and have a blast.  beginning to feel the ebb of all this abnormal activity though.  tonight shall be sitting and movies, next week get back to real riding and set up the downtown dh.  hope to have a recap of the hoopa race last weekend, congrats to jared delong on taken even more money, he is having a great year.  also have to tell you all about the reunion, the serpentine, and the joseph police...  you can also look forward to a fresh profile with happy hapgood after he gets back from his world tour in japan.  he doesn't know it yet but we are going to pump more dirt from him then you could find in a potting soil plant.  stay tuned.

8/10/05

well tomorrow we depart, to vacate with the fam and leave all my scene behind.  plan for it to be a very surreal and disconnected trip outside of the county, so much so that i will yearn for structure when i return.  be back monday to start final prep for the down town dh.  you all gota come out to vie for the cash money and general anarchist fun of it all.  if my insanity survives the family reunion it should all go well.  today shredded briefly with john bonham, that kid is on another planet, and if he sets his nose to grinding on the bike we all better hold onto our butts.  last prelim round of the photo contest is up, should be hottly contested.  please log in and make the winner feel legit with mucho votes.  so have a good weekend and expect some sort of twisted report on the line dancing and karaoke i am sure to encounter.

8/9/05

vacation has begun.  was flying real high today.  got some things done, spent time with some beautiful people, then my family had to go and shatter it all.  just not down with 'em, what can i say.  makes me want to forgo the road trip and hit sovereign days instead.  know how much my presence would mean to my kin, but also know how much i am loathing the thought of being in the company of certain relations for a period of time reaching beyond an hour.  harsh but true, i am not in a good state of mind about it right now.  otherwise life on my own front has been great.  shit just gets stanky when touched by the wrong people.

8/4/05

with my weekend behind i look forward to four more days of consecutive work.  figure i will still be able to get somethings done.  took the last two days off the bike, just wanted to change it up and see some different people for a brief period.  actually went surfing for the first time in a year.  was great to be out in the water again.  didn't really catch any good waves,  the mushy three foot sets just weren't right for my thin little mini gun.  maybe someday i will have a board for when it is squashy, but was simply surprised that i had a good time in such cold water.  hope to do it again soon.  tonight doing laundry and typing, probably not much else.  something is holding me back from building the faith up with my parts, seems like a lot of responsibility ya know?  and to get used to a new bike, a fucking free ride bike, only to have to give it up and do something else seems like needless energy.  what i need is an iron horse.  maybe someday.

8/1/05

hard to believe august is here already, but with sumer in full swing i am absolutely eating it up.  last night was dirt jumping until nine oclock.  last run could not even spot landings, it was great.  nothing can duplicate the goofy stokedness that you get dirt jumpin with the crew.  came home and hung with hapgood for a few, precious moments before his three week departure to japan.  you can look forward to details of his travels and foreign rides as i plan to subject him to intense interrogations upon his return.  and tomorrow uk jake goes home.  he will be missed but i know we all need a break.  sadly his trip ended with a hip check at the skate park this afternoon.  he thinks he might have broke it, i hope he will be ok, though he has to give up several days of planned riding in santa cruz before returning home.  tomorrow i think i will take easy, maybe just run some errands on the road bike.  no work, get a break before the crew takes off for reggae, will be flying solo this weekend so will have to be on point.  might just get a little crazy tonight, but more likely i will just work on editing video.

7/31/05
ahh sunday morn.  this new work schedule really freaks me out.  out roaming town on wednesday night looking for something to be poppin but all is asleep.  then last night i am rolling home to get to bed and rest for work and the whole town is getting down.  very backwards.  last night began a demo on a new haro dirt jumper that the Mountain Bike editor didn't have time to test.  So I am putting it through the passes.  Jammed up to the lost and did hella runs before we ran out of light.  The hard tail surprised with its stability and snappiness in the corners.  Lower BB then I have been riding and way tackier tires makes a big difference.  Did prove that shimano chains are crap as i broke the stoke one right off.  Look forward to testing that a bit more tonight at the mac dj's.  Was thinking as I headed out for the dirt bike ride this week how timely the fix of my moto was.  Cause until now i had lingering reservations about my back.  But as of this month, following a long break before the bigfoot and intense riding after it, I am feeling good.  The past actually slips out of my conciousness most the time, and that is priceless.

7/29/05

yawn stretch yawn.  not quite 24 hrs since the last entry so it doesn't look like any time has passed here.  in reality though it was a productive day.  spent he morning cruising town with the roommate, he found some shelves and i found some pants at the thrift store.  then i finally ended the mac town saga as i moved the remainder of my possesions out of my old garage and, with the help of my mum, re-cluttered my apartment.  then met me budy taylor to ride moto.  we got a bit into the shredding and his bike started making bad noises. so we ended early and headed home.  ate a bit, cut down my new old pants, and pedaled out to the jacoby creek jump farm.  had a good ride with uk jake, feel real worked out after the moto, a load of situps and some upper body work this morning.  then tried to get some photos up for you all but unfortunately the shop computers are not cooperating, and neither currently has the working function i need to complete the transition.  so hopefully tomorrow i will havfe some fresh eye candy.  until then i trust you will keep voting.  great first day with over a hundred visits to the page, after falling off a bit in my deliquency.  so now me eyes are heavy, got to return to work tomorrow.  will go home, sit on something soft, and catch some rest.

7/29/05

few, when i started this it was yesterday! damn.  have had a lot to catch up on here at piratedh.com in case you hadn't noticed.  continuing to try and get the page layout working swell, but explorer is a bitch just like bill gates so i am done, no more.  please look into mozilla i highly reccomend it.  in other new i have been stressing over making updates here.  no internet in my new apartment, no more working in mac town (our shop closed in case you hand't heard) leaving me no real chill time before-after-or during work to update, and the internet in a town has been on the skids.  anyhow it is working tonight and i am pirating the time as i suspect i will be for the forseeablew future.  my roommate and i have agreed to keep the internet out, along with digital clocks, t.v., microwaves, and cell phones so as to keep the aliens at bay.  so far so good.  this week actually saw my dirt bike get reassembled and started up.  i was way too nervous to believe it until i really rode the thing.  on wednesday went for an all day epic in mckinleyville with my long time brother taylor and sean and fritz for the second half.  was great.  kinda frightening at first, but by the end my confidence was growing and i did not want to stop.  very addicting the power of that throttle.  unfortunately sean convinced me to trade him bikes for a minute and i promptly snapped the chain on his ktm putting an end to our ride while they were still just getting warmed up.  that was ok cause i needed to rest up for todays dirt jump jam at our safe way track in eureka,  big good stuff.  i am a huge fan.  been two weeks in a row now that we have drawn people out there and got them riding, watching, and just generally stoked.  great to see people progressing, pushing themselves, and having fun doing it.  got a lot of footage today for the upcoming gravity pirates movie.  more pictures too.  just got the ones up from last week along with a two week old mckinleyville session that was super dope.  so please come out and join the jumping fun, looks like every tuesday and thursday night will be some sort of jump jam.  don't be afraid  you'll like it.  the downtown dh is approaching... "i still don't know much about it" wink wink, but details may be surfacing soon.  just keep the 28th clear during the am and we'll be fine.  think critical mass but with downhill rigs and you will help make my humble dream come true.  till later

7/23/05
today i pray will end the saga of the dulled dirt bike, knocking on wood.  rode into eureka this morning to pick up the proper oil seal from richard miller.  got to visits with the t's for a brief bit, climbed a tree house, and rode a swing.  then jammed back to arcata to pick up the end of the saturday shop shift.  with the seal now in my possesion i hope to have my bike assembled tonight and we shall see if she wants to fire up.  i ask you all to pray for us as the further occupation of my mind with ths task is a troubling possibility.  then i may join the red bull trooper for some night shuttling on the couch trail, hopefully being brushed out as i type.  yesterday evening was spent at the bmx track with my pal taylor.  hammered for a bit and then just worked on some new lines.  was able to pull off several maneuvers i had not conquered before and that always leaves one feeling great.  then went home, sorted pictures, cleaned house, and visited with some very drunk pals.  don't see any reason to stop riding every day as i have been, feels good.

7/22/05
well today is my last evening in the mac town shop ever...  feeling strangely fine though after a serious dirt jump session yesterday.  spent pretty much all day at our jumps behind safeway eureka.  did a bit of digging and a whole lotta ripping.  by the evening lots of folks were there riding and watching.  everyone got pumped and we just let it rip.  saw some new lines, some new moves that blew me away.  got a lot of pics and some video that i hope to throw up soon.  so any of you jumpin freaks want to get in on the shredding next week aim for thursday afternoon, talk to me, and we'll see you on the trails.

7/16/05

well the week has almost passed and things are almost back to normal.  with the exception of a very low key 22nd birthday it has been chill and relatively relaxed.  have gotten some good riding time in, over fifty miles on the road bike, and probably mor then half that on the dirt jumped between commuting and jumping.  had a hard time early in the week as my right arm was still suffering from severe i.v. bruising but feeling better now, though still not up to push ups and curls.  the dh bike is down with a blown shock due to some big boosting to flat, that's what i get for trying to impress curtis.  so been rocking the hard tail.  ripping the lost cause quite a bit, and with just a rear brake and 1.5" slick tire on back it is forced drift training to be sure, stopping isn't really an option.  being without truck, as mine got wrecked if you hadn't heard, is great but after riding all week it was hard to motivate for another ride to work today.  but i made it and now look forward to a mellow afternoon in mac where i will begin dismantiling this beautiful shop that the community has failed to embrace.  haven't lifted a finger on the news paper for amost three weeks, much less stress, and aside from thinking what others might say i could care less about picking it up again.  the extra income was nice but i am too selfish with my time to report on general news, i just don't care.  let me write fiction, opinion, or report on bikes, that's about all i want.  so forget the money riding everyday after work is more important to me right now.  the one thorn in my side is the dirt bike.  the fucker hasn't been running for months.  i am now on my third try to get the proper parts from richard miller and hope that i can make it happen before the month is out.  i have gotten so much advice it frustrates me, the current part i am addressing i think will be of no consequence, but the bike is in pieces so i gotta follow through.  someday it will run again and hopefully be low maintenance.  it is such good training i don't want to give it up, but i hardly think it is worth the headache at this point.  so i go on dirt jumping in the meantime, planning to throw together a faith demo bike here in the next week and start rocking that downhill.  maybe i can make it to an event this summer, but i am more focused on simply not letting up with the riding until next so i can seriously compete on the circuit.

7/11/05
well today, aside from massive i.v. bruising on my right arm, i am feeling quite good.  after a week of detoxification my head is in a place it hasn't been for some time.  been eating not much more then fish, vegetables, and noodles.  simply happy today and that makes me a good worker.  amazing how chemicals can pull your head away from where it should be, after a week like this i start remembering feelings, thoughts and sensations that i knew well as a boy.  these are wonderful and slip away too easily in the hectic and unfamiliar lives we live.  i did not realize how much my life has been on hold the last few months, and how much that can account for troubles and doubts i have been having.  the gift of supporting myself, paying for my roof, paying for the simple food which is necessary and not taking anything more has brought me into a wonderful place.  the ability to come home from work, and have it be home, a place that i want to stay and keep up, rather then one which i wish to bounce from as quickly and stealthily as possible, has begun to refresh my motivation.  soon i hope to be back to full strength and pursuing projects that will bring joy to myself and many others.  tonight though we dirt jump in mac town, free and easy that is what it is all about, and that is what i am feeling as i cruise town with the Burley ball and chain trailer that slows the bike and liberates the time and mind.  like some hippy idealist riding their clothes to the river for washing am i, and it is good.

7/10/05
i wish to apologize for the lack of updates and the retardaion of the photo contest.  i suffered a bit of an acident this week.  to make a long and embarrasing story short... the night of july fourth i set out to get rowdy and reckless.  me and several mates killed a very large bottle of SKY in about thirty minutes.  at which point we decided to jet across town to see the fireworks at healtsport and meet some folks.  i was not to be deprived of my bike so i took off ahead.  from which point i remember nothing.  eyewitnesses placed me at the plaza at a about ten oclock, i had left home at about 9:30.  they said i did not recognize familiar faces and was riding circles around mckinley for several minutes before i tipsily rode off.  at ten forty some one found me crashed out in the cross winds flower garden.  the police and ambulance were called.  i was rushed to the e.r. with head trauma and severe lacerations on my face.  i spent the night in i.c.u. where i was cunvulsing and vomiting uncontrolably.  i could not be woken up and spent nearly twelve hours strapped to a back board with tubes everywhere imaginable.  i came around the next morning at about nine am and was released at about eleven, naked and ill.  this was my second ambulance ride this year and an almost identical experience to one i suffered in santa cruz in 2003.  this has changed many things, it has awoken many things, and i must react to this.  i am doing better now and almost look normal again.  i promise to have fresh photo contest round up tomorrow.  thanks for the patience and caring.

6/25/05
the past two days in the shop have been absolutely dismal, all of my lingering loyalties to the mac town shop making it are washed away, i am ready to move on where the people need us.  bored and how, plus i was up super late last night drinking beer and playing pool.  felt worked this morning.  after a giant jug of orange juice and one of cranberry juice i am feeling better, now just got to try and stay there.  gonna go see an old friend get married after work and then try to get some writing done, just wiped and want things to settle down outside the shop and pick up in it.

6/24/05
i know the answer to many of our woes is how toxic we allow our bodies to become, dosed by drugs in everything from dubbies to beer to fast food.  today i am feeling particularly toxic and cannot muster much of anything.  cannot even imagine riding race pace right now, that is how far i have fallen.  it comes back quick but first you've got to push through the dimensia that comes with detox.

6/23/05

few things in life are certain, this is a farse.  most things in life are if we humans were not such confused and fallen creatures, i refuse to believe that anyone, no matter how derranged, does not feel gut instincts, these are what is certain.  if more time could be spent trusting these and less trying to trick ourselves to pursue selfish and greedy paths we would be much better off.  why can it be so hard to follow good advice?  why do the pure paths seem less then absolute?  why do we justify acts which we know would be distasteful to ourselves were the tables turned?  these problems stem from misallocated energies, devoted to pursuits and ways that are very contrary to our design.  for thousands of years humans have observed their environment and one another, finding truths and laws that bind our universe and direct our souls.  these pure truths are shared by any major religion in history, yet man desires to put things his own way, to twist it just enough to call it 'his truth', to debate over details which are of no significance when all are born with the innate answers.  why do we as a society believe that the only true truth is yet to be found, that science's penetration of matter and the mind is all that can settle things once and for all?  when in fact the truths present themselves daily, they are all around preaching with each action, yet we humans are so bold as to deny such.  i have a good friend, one that people laugh at, one that people glaze over to ignore, one that speaks such truth i witness nearly all shut down in his presence to keep from realizing and changing.  it is painful to watch this, i am sure we have all seen it, and i am sure we have all practiced this cool rejection.  living in a world with barriers open for debate means remorse and morals are also debatable.  yesterday was the solstice, the first day of summer, and with it the sun moved into cancer.  most people i have associated with give little stock to astrological study, they are wrong.  for those who are aware of their cycles the heavenly bodies inact such forces of change that the results are undeniable.  it is just about four am now and i am feeling quite stimulated, it is simply the sun and the moon, the last time this occured i was deep in contemplation and moving out of the house of darkness, tonight i am again contemplative and moving into, what i hope to be, a temple of solitude.  It is not yet up to me to show others the way, ought but by example, i just pray that mankind will learn to go with their gut and not their greed.

6/22/05

yesterday, after a night of bubbly in the new place, began the move in.  a trip to salvation army and my bosses garage later we have a pretty good start to furnis